... the pull

[CrossroadsGuyMn]

Greetings all... .

I has been an interesting few weeks for me.

My BPDw has been pushing very hard for a while, displaying both Queen and Hermit traits.  I can deal with those as they make me feel bad... .so I try very hard to disengage.

However... .this morning she calls me, and out comes her greatest weapon... .The Waif.

I am an admitted co-dependent.  When the Waif comes out... .it is extremely difficult for me to resist being pulled back in for another round on the roller coaster.  I must resist it.

She says she misses her best friend.  Misses 'us' the way we used to be. 

Yeah... .so do I.

So my brain starts trying to understand this within the context of BPD.  I know it the 'pull'.  How do I plan to respond to the inevitable face to face conversation that is going to come?

I arrived at this, (and please if any of you have had success in staying detached from the Waif do comment)... .

"We both have changed since we met and became best friends, and wonderful lovers.  I miss the way we used to be as well, and yet the reality is that people rarely change backwards.  We change forward.  I can't go back to the way I was, and even if I could, I don't have the energy to."

Thoughts?