Hi Helstenmommy1,
We are glad you found us, but sorry for the circumstances that bring you here. Your story is a common theme it you take the time to read the stories of others... .you are not alone. It's very challenging to deal with the day to day issues that loved one with NPD/BPD traits brings in our lives. It is mentally and emotionally draining... .hence my user name here. We know it is not easy.
Can you fix him?... .simple answer to that is no... .that's up to him
Can you do some things to improve the situation... .that might actually lead to some self improvement on his part... .absolutely.
I noticed you mentioned defending yourself in your second sentence.
My own therapist said a long time ago... .don't defend yourself. Look in the upper right margin of this page... .there are tools and lessons that can be a blueprint in helping you guide you... .into a place where things can improve. We cannot change them, but we can change how we react to and communicate with them.
Keep sharing, the more we know about what you are feeling, dealing with or questions you may have... .the more input you will get. You've found the right place.
