addicted to looking at her social media

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

I literally can't help myself and i'm absolutely kicking myself tonight. I was doing well and have been a whole week of no contact, but something just came over me to go on her instagram and like a few pictures. I'm so disappointed in myself! I don't know how to break the cycle. Well i do block her on instagram, but i don't feel ready to do that yet because i'm secretly waiting for her to post a picture of the next sucker she's hooked. Can anybody recommend a good surgeon to remove my thumbs haha?

[patrick1991]

I literally can't help myself and i'm absolutely kicking myself tonight. I was doing well and have been a whole week of no contact, but something just came over me to go on her instagram and like a few pictures. I'm so disappointed in myself! I don't know how to break the cycle. Well i do block her on instagram, but i don't feel ready to do that yet because i'm secretly waiting for her to post a picture of the next sucker she's hooked. Can anybody recommend a good surgeon to remove my thumbs haha?

[jhkbuzz]

I literally can't help myself and i'm absolutely kicking myself tonight. I was doing well and have been a whole week of no contact, but something just came over me to go on her instagram and like a few pictures. I'm so disappointed in myself! I don't know how to break the cycle. Well i do block her on instagram, but i don't feel ready to do that yet because i'm secretly waiting for her to post a picture of the next sucker she's hooked. Can anybody recommend a good surgeon to remove my thumbs haha?

Don't kick yourself; looking is likely part of the grieving process. I know it was for me.

Can you explained why you looked? What were you thinking/feeling right before you looked?

[patrick1991]

Hi jhkbuzz, I just felt impulsed to see how she was doing and i guessed if i'm honest i missed her a bit. I just don't have the strength to block her yet. 1 week felt a real accomplishment for me with NC and now i feel right back to square one again now she has my validation and knows i'm still looking at her.

[FallenOne]

I literally can't help myself and i'm absolutely kicking myself tonight. I was doing well and have been a whole week of no contact, but something just came over me to go on her instagram and like a few pictures. I'm so disappointed in myself! I don't know how to break the cycle. Well i do block her on instagram, but i don't feel ready to do that yet because i'm secretly waiting for her to post a picture of the next sucker she's hooked. Can anybody recommend a good surgeon to remove my thumbs haha?

This needs to be treated like any other addiction. What would you do if you were addicted to a drug that you needed to get away from to save yourself?

[SuperJew82]

Oh man I can relate so much to that. I know my ex is moving on. She had guys on the side at all times. I miss the dream honeymoon phases that lasted a few months and some of the high parts of the abuse cycle... .but the stressful times were much more prevalent and only going to get worse.

Just set the tornado free and every time you think of the good, take a second and remember the reality of the situation. You should feel sorry for the next victims - but it shouldn't be your concern. You made a big step with NC. Keep up the momentum. It gets better. You made the right choice.

Go hang out with some friends, push yourself to do some of the things you liked to do before. Talk about your stuff here more.

[SuperJew82]

BTW, I did the same thing you did buddy. So a year later, I'm now over my 1 month mark. I know I still have a ways to go. This site has really helped me... .so has this book:

Please buy this thing:

https://www.amazon.com/Stop-Caretaking-Borderline-Narcissist-Drama/dp/1442238321/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1484630745&sr=8-1&keywords=borderline+narcissistic