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BPDFamily.com
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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
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Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
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Found missing support payment
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Topic: Found missing support payment (Read 404 times)
bus boy
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 908
Found missing support payment
«
on:
January 17, 2017, 05:21:47 AM »
I posted about support payment for s10 going missing. I dropped it at the office of xw's lawyer, text her it was there, got a rude text back, I left it at that. Couple of months down the road, Xw is looking for her money. I call the bank they say it was deposited, I tell Xw, she looks into it, ( Xw is a lier but she's not a thief). Than she called me being very pleasant on the phone asking me to look into the missing money some more, I said I would and than of course came the shuttle belittling remarks that's it was my fault the $ was missing and a few more covert insults. They don't hurt at the time but as the day goes on they really sink in.
I suggest that the law firm might of deposited it in there account by mistake, she said possibly, again, never a positive feed back like " good idea lets check it out". It sounds petty of me but everything is met with shuttle belittling. I ask Xw for her L's phone number, now more emotional abuse kicks in. She said she doesn't have it, that it would be in directory assistance, it would be beneath her to get me the number, in her mind it's my fault, to help anymore with finding the Money would be taking responsibility for this and Xw is NEVER WRONG. I find the number, call the lawyer and they did deposit the money by mistake. I contact Xw not expecting any acknowledgement, and I got none but I did get a suttle betittleing remark. Now this all might sound petty of my but all those belittling remarks and multiply it by 12 years and it adds up. Death of a thousand cuts. Xw's emotional crulity is sinister to say the least. It wears you down like waves crashing on the rocks, eventually you become crumbling sand.
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DreamGirl
Retired Staff
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner’s ex
Posts: 4016
Do. Or do not. There is no try.
Re: Found missing support payment
«
Reply #1 on:
January 17, 2017, 05:59:37 AM »
It's hurtful now because you give the words value (understandably, she was your wife), when in reality it's just white noise.
Detaching from the words takes time. It starts with us moving from a personal relationship to a less intimate relationship.
"I can send you a copy of the cancelled check, I'm not sure what happened after I dropped the check off, but it cleared my bank. Maybe call your attorney in case I need to report fraud to my bank if you weren't the one who cashed it."
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"What I want is what I've not got, and what I need is all around me." ~Dave Matthews
bus boy
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 908
Re: Found missing support payment
«
Reply #2 on:
January 17, 2017, 10:26:43 AM »
I helped Xw as an experiment for my self, when she called yesterday being very nice on the phone, as a rule I don't talk to Xw but she called 4x and text 3x in very short order. Her being very nice to me hurt as well bc it made me think she changed bc she has a BF for the past year1/2 but I hung on and sure enough after she got me to agree to help her the insults came. So my experiment worked, I was as helpful and pleasant as could be but I usually am, this time I expected nothing and that is exactly what I got. Her covert emotional abuse still hurt but I was prepared for it. I guess for Xw to validate me would be admitting wrong. If she acted like a normal human she would of had her money back in September.
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Hisaccount
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Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: divorced
Posts: 336
Re: Found missing support payment
«
Reply #3 on:
January 17, 2017, 11:58:09 AM »
This is the side effect of Cupid's Arrow.
We got shot through the heart when we met them.
Then they broke the arrow off in there.
Now every little jab they throw at us is wiggling that arrow causing pain, like brushing across a sliver in your finger. It hurts, it is a reminder that it is still there.
We don't have the guts or the strength to pull the rest of the broken arrow out yet.
Oh but when I do, then life will begin again.
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