I really reallly want to know how to stand by him..

[DistanceLover]

Hello everybody. Don't know where to start but I'll try...

First of all,excuse my English and the upcoming misspellings cause i am from Greece and though i speak English its still difficult for me... .

So... I am in love with someone who i discovered is a borderline.

Our relationship started from his Facebook page which i am a devoted reader.
He always posted quotes with pictures that seemed to touch my soul and make my heartbeat touching red... Always seemed to write something that's written for me...

At the beginning i didn't know how to respond and started responding via messenger(with private messages)... Never got a complete answer back,except ones that had to do with the page's questions... When i was starting a more "friendly" chat... nothing was returning,except...
His posts! He was (and is... ) talking to me via public posts-quotes,with common to the subject pics!

It was the most amazing feeling ever for me and i started easily responding back,cause i love to write and be poetic sometimes...
I fell so much in love... So painful for me he never responds in private... Always with a post!Thats our communication...

So to make the long story short...

I went to meet him in person(he lives in another city 550 kilometers away).  He excepted to see me for only a bit at his office and that were the most beautiful minutes of my life... He was so fragile and strong the same time... so kind... he couldn't look at me straight but when i was speaking,but i could see him smiling happy... looking at me so tender... (I couldn't stop crying for two days after... )but he kept telling me that he doesn't want any relationship at the moment,he hasn't got time for me etc... .We shook hands and I left.

After that meeting nothing is the same... I am completely in love! And i told him! I wrote it to him! I sang it! I feel it from the bottom of my heart and i cant feel that he feels the same... But then...
His posts became passionate,sometimes angry... painful... hurting... and then again passionate, in love... not in love... full of rage... I post something romantic,he responds angry... I didn't post anything for a day... he went crazy... Didn't know what to do... .I was so confused...  

Until one day,i sensed something... don't ask me what... I guess he wrote something that pushed me to the right direction and i started searching the internet about personality disorders... And pow! It was in front of me!

His character... his reactions... EVERYTHING! ... it was there! BPD!
I got scared at first but my feelings are so strong,so i decided i will educate myself on it.
So to the present...

We have entered a kind of-how can i explain it-romance state,we have a "silent"relationship,only with posts,where he tries to make me back off to this relationship with his posts and i try to explain to him that i am ready to stand by him,with no intention of leaving.

After my last night post,in which i was "saying" to him in a different way that i know about him,he doesn't "speak" to me! He hasn't spoken to me all day! I can see he posts at his page but only irrelevant stuff! He ignores me! So i thought i take a chance and hit the words "BPD ignoring me" on Google... and the magical phrase appeared... Silent Treatment! And i am so much more confused... and in fear... and i feel so much pain,thinking i did something that caused that... And i have booked a month before, a ticket to go see him tomorrow again and i guess he wont except me... And i feel so bad... and alone... So guys... here i am! Educate me please please please! I love him so much... I love his firing soul,his kind existence,his beautiful heart... .

I really really want to know how to stand by him... Not saving him... i know i cant... But stand by him with my whole excistance and love. I need to know the do's and dont's... Everything possible.
Thank you for your patience and time.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[livednlearned]

Hi DistanceLover,

What does standing by him mean to you?

Do you mean loving him from afar?

LnL

[DistanceLover]

Hello LnL,
thank you for the respond.
Yes! Thats what i mean.
I read most of the articles inside this site and its an amazing job they have done!Everything is understandable and clear and very very educating!
 It makes it easier for us newbies,to understand the behaviors and to go one step beyond.
Still confused but learning...

So to the point...
Is it better for me to continue posting caring and understanding posts or should i delete him as a friend and hope that he ll be ok soon?(... i am hurting even thinking about it... cant imagine his pain)
I already reassured him that,i am dont attend to try see him from close again anymore,cause i believe that scared him the most.He has seen the results of a real-life relationship and doesnt want to try again(Even though he posted this one day "There are some beautiful disasters i would really want to live again" )
I've already read that, its better either for me and him to move on but i am still asking beacause of the long distance particularity of this relationship.
I believe that,this different kind of relationship we have is a relief for him,is a window to the world.
I can now see that he wants to keep his loneliness but he doesnt want to be alone,and since nobody but me can "feel" him through his posts,he would like me there as an eternal long distance partner...