looking for answers

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

hello, I'm not sure what I hope to get out of this, but thought it was worth a try.
my relationship ended around 3 months ago, but I still really don't understand why.
it was rocky for a while, but what I'm struggling with is the fact I never got any answers, and I doubt I ever will.
my ex partner has BPD.  I only found out about 2 months into the relationship. 
there has been no contact since the last few text messages he sent ending things.
I find accepting the whole situation, and being able to move on impossible at the moment, which isn't helping me at all.

[loulou73]

hello, I'm not sure what I hope to get out of this, but thought it was worth a try.
my relationship ended around 3 months ago, but I still really don't understand why.
it was rocky for a while, but what I'm struggling with is the fact I never got any answers, and I doubt I ever will.
my ex partner has BPD.  I only found out about 2 months into the relationship. 
there has been no contact since the last few text messages he sent ending things.
I find accepting the whole situation, and being able to move on impossible at the moment, which isn't helping me at all.

[Larmoyant]

Hi loulou73, you’ve found a great place for understanding and support and I’d like to welcome you to BPD Family . One of the most difficult aspects of breaking up with a pwBPD is often the lack of closure and it’s a very common experience around here. It causes a lot of pain and confusion, making it hard for you to accept the situation. We can help you work through it. Can you tell us a little more about your relationship and how it ended?

[loulou73]

We were together for nearly 12 months. I fell pretty hard for him pretty quickly.  We were about 2 months into the relationship when he told me he had BPD.  To be honest I really didn't know what it was. I wish I knew then what I know now. I have educated myself a lot more in the last few months since things unfortunately ended.
It took ages for him to introduce me to his family. And I only ever met a few friends.
It was very up and down. Something I did struggle with. Near the end, I tried to talk to him to sort things and discuss what was going on but he wasn't interested. My last efforts resulted in him ending it all via text. I tried to contact him once more but I was obviously blocked. I haven't tried since although each day I want to.
It's just hard to move on when I don't feel I have closure I guess.

[Mutt]

Hi loulou73,  



I'd like to join Larmoyant and welcome you to  bpdfamily.

there has been no contact since the last few text messages he sent ending things.

Wow. I'm sorry that you're going through this. Many members here can relate with you, your ex is avoiding you because you're probably a source shame for him with how he ended things for now. Many of us didn't get closure from our exes including me and I completely understand how difficult that is, many of us had to give closure to ourselves.

I'm glad that you decided to join us, there is hope. You're not alone.