Adult son not letting me see grandkids

[Hen]

My adult son is not allowing me to see my grandkids, ages 5 and 4. This has recurred on and off since they were born. My daughter in law has many possible diagnoses and my son has some as well. We go from being on call for all the daily stuff to being banned from seeing the girls. My husband is willing to cut off connections due to toxicity and damage to our home ans rest of the family. My heart is so broken it inhibits my ability to do ordinary tasks at times.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[js friend]

Hi Hen,

Iam have also been estranged from my grandchildren for 4years. I know how painful it is. Like you, my udd has previously cut me out of their lives several times before this last estrangement. Luckily Iam now in touch with the kids dad(my dd's ex) so I able to have updates on my grandchildren but even he has to be careful when he interacts with udd and she doesnt know that we are in contact.  Iam grateful to have updates on my grandchildren but there is nothing like seeing them.

[js friend]

Hi Again Hen.

I meant to add that it is important to look after your mental health and take each day as it comes. After this last estrangement I found it really difficult to go to the places that I used to take my grandchildren to (local parks, restaurants, kids fairs etc) and used to avoid them if I could. All those happy memories we had made, made  me feel sad and empty but I turned it around and now when I go those places it reminds me of the happy times, and all the happy memories that i now have to hold onto. Your sadness will always be there but we really need keep ourselves well for the time we are reunited with them.