Tired mom

[Mamma807]

Hello,
I’m a first timer so not sure how all this works. I’m a mother of an adult daughter (21) with BPD. Our family has been on this sometimes terrifying roller coaster for about 5 years now
I am in therapy myself, but am just so tired and I guess hopin for a place to feel less alone.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[BPDstinks]

Hi! " From one tired mom to another, I am so sorry you are going through this!  My adult daughter was diagnosed with BPD a few years ago, despite many attempts at helping her (too much to write in one post!) and being her "favorite" person, she just "dumped" me, my husband, her sister & her beautiful nieces.  As of this time, the only person she speaks to is my mother (her grandmother) (who...2 years ago she despised!) so....I am just doing a "Jesus Take the Wheel"; the first round of Holidays was brutal, I am hoping for a less painful series this year...my pw BPD texts me, maybe every 3 months, when she needs something, basically!  There is a lot of useful information on this site!  Good luck and feel free to reach out, if you like!

[js friend]

Hi Tired mom,

I understand the mental exhaustion you are feeling. My udd left home at 17yo and is now 31yo but the mental scars are still there.

Iam glad to hear that you are doing therapy and wished I tried this for myself at the time when things were really bad at home. When I found this website it was like a sudden epiphany. I remember the day clearly and spent all day reading posts from members and I no longer felt alone.

Keep posting Tired mom, there are lots of members here who are walking or have  walked a similar path to you and understand.

[Sammy Jo]

Hi Tired Mom,

Reading your post, I feel like I often do when scrolling through this site - that many of us could have written the same way, because we all have lived the same situation. My 22 year old DD has been living with this awful disease since a very young age. We are not estranged, but the few days when I block her on the phone between the barrage of crazy phone calls or hateful text messages gives me some peace of mind. She works several part time jobs because of her convoluted reasoning -- if and when she gets fired from a temporary job, she will have others to fall back on.

Please do not give up the fight for peace. Block your PWD if you have to. Continue therapy, find ways to put yourself first. It is so hard to do. With Thanksgiving and Christmas approaching, I know it's hard to not worry about your PwD causing havoc and destruction. After four ruined holidays, we prepare by saying she can come for moments at a time and as soon as she causes a disruption, she will immediately leave. We will not put our parents and her sibling through the stress and chaos.

It is a constant struggle between parental love and worry vs. a battle for your own sanity. This is a safe place to know that you are not alone. Never surrender -- never give up:)

[Mamma807]

Thank you to those who have reached out & responded / I’m still very new at navigating this site & have not quite figured out notifications, chats??, etc.
I appreciate each of your responses and feel a bit like each of you. Currently I have no contact with my daughter, my husband has taken over for now. She is in a dual-diagnosis facility in CA(has been for several months) but still doesn’t seem to get it that she has to actually do the work to improve!
We are coming up to our first holiday season without her- expecting it to be more peaceful as we won’t have to walk on eggshells hoping she doesn’t blow up - but also real hard because damnit she’s my daughter & I love her.