Do BPD People come back after being cheated on?

[dontgetmestarted]

Hey! ive met my ex gf who has bpd back in 2023 through an dating app. We were friends at first till she confessed that she wanted more, i was already attracted to her so i also confessed. We started dating..i would say our relationship was a mix of heaven and hell.

We would laugh alot but also fight alot about stuff like that im not giving her much affection or that she feels like i dont love her etc. At the end of our relationship i already kind of gave up my hope that this is going to work forever, ofcourse i loved her and i know that she loved me but i wasnt happy anymore. So i did a mistake which was cheating, when she found out she was totally devistated which is understandable, she broke up with me and i went back to my parents because i was living together with her for a year. She then called me 4 hours later, crying and telling me how i can do that to her and that i know that she cannot sleep without me, so i made my way back to her house to just sleep with her, we also had sex that same night.

After we kept talking for a month or two, regualry seeing eachother few days a week and then i decided to go no contact because i felt drained, i felt like she expected too much from me which is again, understandable after being hurt like that.

We kept breaking no contact here and there, sending each other pictures and flirt kinda here and there till i called her one day to meet up and talk because i wanted to see her obviously. We met up and i was telling her that i dont need a no contact i just want to be with her, and she started laughing etc. i told her to look me in my eyes and tell me that she doesnt feel anything for me anymore and she denied to look me in my eyes, at some point she confessed and told me that she ofcourse still has feelings for me but she doesnt want anything serious because she forgot how good it feels to be ,out there' i later found out that shes seeing someone else, i say its a rebound, she told me its not a rebound for her but i dont care, i keep my opinion.

Now its been 3 weeks of really no contact, didnt hear from her, im blocked everywhere. I made the decision that im going to give her space, not going to present myself anywhere so she doesnt know what im doing, because i want her to care, but i dont know if she will care.

I also dont know if i should keep giving her space or just see if she comes back one day

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[dontgetmestarted]

Hey! ive met my ex gf who has bpd back in 2023 through an dating app. We were friends at first till she confessed that she wanted more, i was already attracted to her so i also confessed. We started dating..i would say our relationship was a mix of heaven and hell.

We would laugh alot but also fight alot about stuff like that im not giving her much affection or that she feels like i dont love her etc. At the end of our relationship i already kind of gave up my hope that this is going to work forever, ofcourse i loved her and i know that she loved me but i wasnt happy anymore. So i did a mistake which was cheating, when she found out she was totally devistated which is understandable, she broke up with me and i went back to my parents because i was living together with her for a year. She then called me 4 hours later, crying and telling me how i can do that to her and that i know that she cannot sleep without me, so i made my way back to her house to just sleep with her, we also had sex that same night.

After we kept talking for a month or two, regualry seeing eachother few days a week and then i decided to go no contact because i felt drained, i felt like she expected too much from me which is again, understandable after being hurt like that.

We kept breaking no contact here and there, sending each other pictures and flirt kinda here and there till i called her one day to meet up and talk because i wanted to see her obviously. We met up and i was telling her that i dont need a no contact i just want to be with her, and she started laughing etc. i told her to look me in my eyes and tell me that she doesnt feel anything for me anymore and she denied to look me in my eyes, at some point she confessed and told me that she ofcourse still has feelings for me but she doesnt want anything serious because she forgot how good it feels to be ,out there' i later found out that shes seeing someone else, i say its a rebound, she told me its not a rebound for her but i dont care, i keep my opinion.

Now its been 3 weeks of really no contact, didnt hear from her, im blocked everywhere. I made the decision that im going to give her space, not going to present myself anywhere so she doesnt know what im doing, because i want her to care, but i dont know if she will care.

I also dont know if i should keep giving her space or just see if she comes back one day.
(She also told me im her favorite person, alot of times)

[Pook075]

Hello and welcome to the family!  I'm sorry you're going through this.

A few quick questions- how long ago did you actually break up?  I see "a month or two" but it's not really clear if that includes everything that happened.  I also saw you met in 2023 and were friends first, so I think I'm missing something in the timelines.  Also, how long has she been in a new relationship?

For your title question, do they ever come back after you've cheated...the answer is yes.  But it takes some time to restore that trust and the relationships take awhile to fully heal.  Sometimes, the BPD never quite gets over it.

Giving her space is a good option since it allows her to figure things out on her own.  It's also a good option for you to actually grieve the old relationship and decide what you'd do differently if you are able to reconcile someday.  Because if you do get back together, it's going to be a brand new thing where you both start over.  Hopefully that makes sense.