Home page of BPDFamily.com, online relationship supportMember registration here
July 11, 2025, 03:58:50 AM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins: Kells76, Once Removed, Turkish
Senior Ambassadors: SinisterComplex
  Help!   Boards   Please Donate Login to Post New?--Click here to register  
bing
Depression = 72% of members
Take the test, read about the implications, and check out the remedies.
111
Pages: [1]   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: I'm tired and need some encouragement  (Read 280 times)
Chosen
********
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 1484



« on: June 08, 2025, 10:09:46 PM »

Hi, I've been on and off here for some 10 years (with a uBPDh). I'm still learning. Actually I'm doing better than before I start coming here, so I've learnt something. But the feeling remains the same, that when I fail, and a conflict escalates, it's like everything I've done come crushing down. Logically, I know it's not true- 1 escalated conflict doesn't override the many conflicts that didn't escalate, and that doesn't make me a failure. But it sure feels that way.

When I succeed in using my tools and things get somewhat de-escalated, nobody gives me a pat on the back and acknowledge how hard I've tried. But when I don't, I'm being branded as an unstable woman who loses her temper all the time, always making things worse. I know I'm far from perfect, but I try to work on myself. And I know I keep failing, but I also sometimes succeed. I don't want to be reminded that when I fail, I'm worthless.

I know I shouldn't let the words of a splitting person get to me, that what they're accusing me of has been magnified 10 times, and that only the "black" part of me has been magnified. I know I need to get my own emotions back to baseline before I can look at the whole episode from the outside again, without letting my feelings get to me. But boy, it's tiring, and it's hard, and it's a thankless job.
Logged

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING
This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

cynp

*
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: married
Posts: 28


« Reply #1 on: June 09, 2025, 03:54:06 PM »

i feel that w/ BPD loved ones we need to be our own cheering section. Because we aren't going to get it at home. I am told over and over that no matter what I do, all my faults are still there, and are still terrible, and i "never" improve. So sometimes I sit and and relfect on the things I have done, and know that I have improved and that they matter, even if someone alse doesn't always see it. I'm still very beatdown and still have a long way to go, not the least in caring for myself.
Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?

Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife



Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2006-2020, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!