I dont want to be alone

[MiracleKid]

Hello group

I have joined, because I need some support to feel less alone, my older siblings behaviour is such a strain on me the thing is we are not 6 and 9, we are aged 36 and aged 39, (me being the younger sibling) but I am still stuck in a cycle with my mom and family pushing me to be more reasonable to bend backwards and to carry bursts of rages, irrational and unreasonable behaviour.

I have stepped away as the weight brought me to a place of extreme clinical depression.
It's hard to learn how to establish healthy boundaries when your family see this as disloyalty.

Her jealousy towards me has become unmanageable. don't get me wrong, I have made mistakes, I am imperfect, I have caused her hurt, but no matter how I try and be reasonable it's met with heaps of condemnation and rage. Its like we cant not work out misunderstandings like healthy adults, my families solution is for me to agree to irrational demands.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Sancho]

Hi MiracleKid
Gosh you are in a very difficult situation. It would be enough to try to find a way to cope with a BPD sibling but when your family are pushing you into dealing with things in a way that is is not good for you - that is a very complex situation.

I have a sister with BPD. She is quite a few years older than me and I didn't experience the full force of her condition in the same way as my mother did. But my sister did have most of the siblings on her 'side' so to speak, and especially my father turned himself inside out to accommodate her.

It's many years now since I have spoken to my sister. She did a couple of things that divided my family -  three of us stopped contact with her, the other two continued contact.

But that is enough of my situation. I am just explaining I have a little understanding of the complexity of this sort of situation.

You mention this has brought you to a point of clinical depression. Do the family know that this is the case? Being the focus of your sister's jealousy is very intense - something that other family members are not experiencing - and adds to their lack of understanding of how this is affecting you.

At the moment I have many questions going around in my head: do you and your sister live close; are there regular family events that mean you encounter one another; have the other members of the family witnessed your sister’s rage towards you etc.

There is a great deal at stake in your situation so I am loath to make suggestions when I don’t have a clear picture. I hope you will post again with some details.
Sending thoughts . . .