Move on or try to fix things with ex pw BPD

[Wind21]

Hello everyone on the forum!
This is my first time here posting after reading many times, so I finally decided to be one of you and to share my experience with a person with this disorder, hoping someone will eventually provide some support and ideas.
My ex pwBPD broke up with me 2 1/2 months ago. We have been together a little more than 1 1/2 years.
During this time I experienced all the rollercoasters, ups and downs, idealisations and devaluations, triangulations with her ex and father of their 13yo son and many short breakups (before the last one, the longer was a week long one, she called in tears wanting me back to her), huge fear of abandonment followed by a progressive and intermittent fear of engulfment, raging arguments with no reasons. So all the typical signs of BPD.
I was left like I she felt nothing for even if she kept on swearing she still loved me but couldn't keep on stayin' with me, telling me we were not meant for each other, that pur lifestyles were too different (big lie!!) and putting all the faults and blame on me, accusing me of being narcissistic, abusive and manipulative just because I tried to let her see things more positively, in grey and not in black/white. The painting me black was already strong so I failed in my attempt to fix things.
After a week of no contact I tried again, we had arguments and After 2 days she blocked me on phone, WhatsApp, Instagram and Facebook, leaving me TikTok only. I tried to text her with something more warm, trying to let her feel understood yet express ing my feelings and intentions with honesty. I received the silent treatment, after a few days I went all in trying to shake her writing "I accept It, maybe you're right, maybe we were not meant to reach other". After a few hours she blocked me on TikTok too.
Then I had just the email left, I apologized for my last text telling her I felt bad 'cause she was ignoring me, again no reply. I sent her various email, letting her know I was struggling. Still no answer. I started getting suspicious about the presence of another man in her life, I asked, still no reply. I texted again, telling her It would have been good for me to know because in that case I could move on, and then she immediately replied that there was no one else. This was more than a month ago. Since that, she only replied to a text where I wrote "Hope you are good..", she texted "me too I hope you are, always".
Then I went no contact for nearly a month, I broke It and texted just a simple "hi...", she didn't reply and never reached out after that since that day.
Now it's been 3 weeks, yesterday I casually met her best male friend. He told me she's not committed yet, he advised me to not contact her and to move on.
I am still deeply in love with her, I think about her every day, every minute of my life, and I wonder if she's just gone or if there is still a chance we will still exist together. I know it sounds crazy to you, but I am here to rationalize and try to make up my mind about all of this hard time.
Many thanks to all of you who will give support.

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