Partner has BPD and Fibromyalgia

[denawes]

Hi everyone,

I’ve been in an on-and-off relationship with my fiancée for six years. We were supposed to get married, but the wedding is now canceled. I made a big mistake by lying to her about smoking, and I broke her trust. On top of that, I had a mental health breakdown earlier this year, and she’s worried it could happen again.

She has fibromyalgia, osteoporosis, and other health issues that already make life hard for her, and I know my actions have added more stress. Right now, she says she doesn’t know if she loves me, doesn’t care if I stay or leave, and has asked me not to sleep in bed with her since we’re not intimate.

I’ve written her a heartfelt letter taking responsibility and expressing my desire to rebuild trust slowly, through actions rather than words. I’m trying to give her space while still showing care, but I’m struggling to find the balance.

How do I start rebuilding trust without overwhelming her? What are some healthy ways to show I’m changing while respecting her boundaries? Has anyone been through something similar and come out stronger?

It has been going on for about two months and we live like room mates.  I don't know if I am strong or stupid.

Thanks for any advice.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.