I know exactly what you mean. The further out of the FOG I get, the more I realize... .what the H3ll was I thinking? Why on earth did I give her another chance? Yes, they will drag you into their craziness and pretty soon you are are in a shared hell.
The only thing you can do:
Leave. Don't look back. Block all known communication methods. Zilch. Nada. Then start working on yourself. Find some books and a therapist. Don't let it happen again.
I agree it's the
ideal way forward, but for some of us it's not the
only way. Like a lot of people, I work with mine. She changes her mind every day about what she wants to do with her life and, if I am really lucky, she will catch the right day and follow through on her many ideas about changing jobs! I supported a lot of her personality issues that allowed her to survive in her job, but now that I am no longer doing that, there is a lot higher chance she will leave.
But in the mean time, LC is the best I can do, which means I have to focus on fixing myself. I too am scared about relapsing, but we discussed going NC over a week ago and so far it has stuck... .which is the longest since December 2015. It sounds pathetic saying that (ie we couldn't not communicate for a week... ) and we're both on holidays, so occupied, but as every day goes by it feels better and I am more accepting of her craziness and my role in the relationship. It feels better as days go by, but I still fear the next time we're in touch... .so I will just keep working on my end of things and building up the strength to get through this until she leaves work.
