OK. It sounds like it was fun, and the fun needs to end now.
You didn't mention how long you were together, and with a woman ready to have sex with strangers the idea of being "together" is to be taken lightly.
I suspect the relationship you had was probably a little like a drug. You got high, and then low. And now you want the high again.
However, I'd suggest you force yourself to keep some no-contact distance for the hormones to wear off. Re-read your description of how she acts, and pretend someone else is describing their girlfriend to you, using your words. What would you advise the person to do?
In this case, just disregard whether she has or doesn't have BPD traits. What's good life advice for you now?
Wow! Thank you for your kind words. Your comments have given me a lot to think about and process.
If I had read that about my friend's gf... I would have thought good god what are you doing in a relationship with this mental case!
But I played a huge part in this too. This woman was very controlling and manipulative from the very beginning. She used sex as a tool to use and control me. I was very miserable with her, but at times was very happy. We were together for only 3 months, but it was very intense. We were together all the time. We fell deeply in love with each other. We had talked of marriage and one day in a few years having kids together and moving in together.
She had broken up with me, and during these breakups i had found refuge by going back to my ex girlfriend. So I was not perfect. Sometimes i think the relationship i had with this girl as the BPD/NPD dance, with her being the borderline and me being the narcissist. It was a battle I was not going to win.
She found out about my "cheating" - which I don't think was really cheating in the true sense sense because after the first time she broke up with me I told her there was no sense in us being monogamous if she could just break up with me and have sex with other men whenever she felt like.
After she found out she broke up with me and raged at me. Told me to never contact her again or she'd call the police. Two weeks later, she calls me from a private number and asks me to meet her at the mall. Here she tells me when need to take a break. She also tells me she is going on a trip to cancun. When she got back, I discovered miraculously that I had not been blocked anymore. I called her and asked her if she had sex, and she said she did and that they had done some "very crazy things." She also told me she did not want to be in a relationship, and that she would call me when she was ready to talk to me but that it was too soon because of the pain.
What is she trying to do here? Does she really envision a relationship with me, or is she just going to try to make me suffer more?
I'm still so confused. I miss her so much, but at the same time lately every time I contact her I'm just forced to experience more traumatically catastrophic events and details.
