Self harming - used as a weapon

[GlobeTrotterGirl]

Hi all

We are on a very prolonged period of my uBPD mum being in a very dark place and she sees more of my brother as he lives close by her. He has had to endure a lot of suicide taunts - I recent times he was told by her that she had put money on the mantle piece to put her dog to sleep once she's killer herself and on another occasion she showed him open wounds from.self harming and made him bandage them. It seems so dark that she has started self harming again for the first time in a while to not just get any gratification but to also manipulate us and try and make us fret over here every minute of every day! This is the worst episode we've have since my dad died 9 years ago and she's just not snapping out of it and has cut almost everyone everyone off so isolation will be making her worse.

I don't know how problematic it could be in terms of infection risk especially as she has a dog? It's a frustrating and draining limbo because she keeps telling us she's going to end it but never does and doesn't care about the impact on us. I keep trying to get medical help for her but it's like talking to a wall dealing with her doctors.


 
 

[GlobeTrotterGirl]

Just to add that when she was self harming years ago it was the topside of her lower arms that she used to cut - do self harmers always use the same part of the body or do they try other areas? I'm hoping she doesn't start cutting near arteries etc!

[ForeverDad]

This may be where it's time to view this sort of behavior for what it is, a demand for attention or even control, manipulation, whatever.  Yes, the person may be in some level of emotional pain but involving others brings it to a more serious level.  This is not an accident, it's more like manipulating others to step in and fix what they themselves caused.  This is unhealthy behavior.

In general, people in general are not considered trained medical or mental health experts.  It is totally valid to call for trained help.  Suicide threats or self harm?  Call emergency services or take them to medical facilities.  (Be prepared that once the help arrives that the person will blame you for overreacting, causing the incident or even denying saying/doing such things.  In that case, having a recording beforehand as proof of what really happened may protect you and ensure lies are revealed.)

[GlobeTrotterGirl]

We have had to have to police out to her once for suicide threats she told them avc paramedics that she was going to give herself and her dog pills, they wanted to take her for inpatient care.but she refused to go and they was that. I've updated her doctors surgery that she is self harming so they document.it in her records and nobody can accuse us of not doing anything to help her. I'm trying to convince my brother who lives near her to reduce his visits to at most once a week to stop her being mentally cruel to him.