Love is hard.

[Depression = 72% of members]

Hello. I'm in love with a woman. We dated in highschool and things ended. It wasn't a crazy ending or anything we just grew apart it was a short and sweet relationship. Well fast forward to the present (16 years later and 5 months ago) she came back into my Life. And like a hurricane it was new, exciting, beautiful I was completely smitten. I fell in love fast. This woman is super intelligent, funny, smart, kind, I could go on for hours about the reasons I fell in love with her. But here we are five months later. I am so sure of our relationship and that scares her or makes her uncomfortable I'm not sure which. And sometimes she returns that sentiment and then others she doesn't. She can never make her mind up and always seems so unsure (not just with our relationship). Well we broke up 2 months ago. And I couldn't just let her go. We talked and eventually we reconciled. And some not so great stuff has happened since. And I feel like part of her was acting out just to try to push me away. But we worked through it and are trying to be together again. But those ideas, those feelings of uncertainty still plague her. I support her and go into every scenario with patience and understanding. But truthfully I'm exhausted. I'm so tired of feeling like this. Feeling defeated, feeling like I'm never the choice, the feeling of instability. I love her dearly and just want us to be happy and healthy but her indecision is weighing on me greatly. I don't know why I have decided to post on here. Maybe I'm looking for advice. Maybe I'm hoping someone in the same scenario has some kind words or maybe the ability to help. I don't know. But I do know I love and accept her and don't want to give up on us. Send help!

[funjay8]

Hello. I'm in love with a woman. We dated in highschool and things ended. It wasn't a crazy ending or anything we just grew apart it was a short and sweet relationship. Well fast forward to the present (16 years later and 5 months ago) she came back into my Life. And like a hurricane it was new, exciting, beautiful I was completely smitten. I fell in love fast. This woman is super intelligent, funny, smart, kind, I could go on for hours about the reasons I fell in love with her. But here we are five months later. I am so sure of our relationship and that scares her or makes her uncomfortable I'm not sure which. And sometimes she returns that sentiment and then others she doesn't. She can never make her mind up and always seems so unsure (not just with our relationship). Well we broke up 2 months ago. And I couldn't just let her go. We talked and eventually we reconciled. And some not so great stuff has happened since. And I feel like part of her was acting out just to try to push me away. But we worked through it and are trying to be together again. But those ideas, those feelings of uncertainty still plague her. I support her and go into every scenario with patience and understanding. But truthfully I'm exhausted. I'm so tired of feeling like this. Feeling defeated, feeling like I'm never the choice, the feeling of instability. I love her dearly and just want us to be happy and healthy but her indecision is weighing on me greatly. I don't know why I have decided to post on here. Maybe I'm looking for advice. Maybe I'm hoping someone in the same scenario has some kind words or maybe the ability to help. I don't know. But I do know I love and accept her and don't want to give up on us. Send help!

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[ForeverDad]

For love to grow and succeed, it must be mutual.  If over time there is still this mismatch - even if it is only the timing - then it might be wise to Let Go and Move On with your life.

It's hard, though, to set aside the emotions you've developed.  You can encourage further development if she is willing but you can't force the relationship.