BPD husband

[Bpd husband help]

I have a BPD husband who loses touch with reality, compulsively lies and believes his lies. He gets verbally abusive, telling me I'm worthless and a terrible wife. I have desperately been doing all the research that I can to learn how to adjust myself to respond more effectively for this disorder. I feel alone, isolated and trapped. I think it is starting to come to the point of needing to leave the marriage but I allowed myself to become financially dependent on him by becoming a stay at home mom. I am working on rectifying that actively, but it will take another month or so to know that I have a job secured. This whole situation is so heartbreaking. I go between feeling so compassionate, sad and sorry for the constant pain and torment that he is in and feeling so angry, hurt and betrayed by him. I hate that he hurts so much all the time but nothing I do has any effect on it and none of it is because of me. It is just so sad. I have to take care of me and my life now and there is nothing further that I can do to help him, he has to help himself. It is just so scary because I am not financially ready to get out yet and need more time. My purpose here is just to to obtain some moral  support and validation of my situation and that I am not alone.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Tattered Heart]

Hi

Welcome to the board. You will find lots of support in living with a pwBPD here. Many of us have probably been through many of the same experiences and issues that come with being in a relationship with a pwBPD. It's important that you even though you often times may need to be an emotional caretaker to your spouse that you also take the time to take care of yourself. There are many lessons on the right side of the page that you can learn more about BPD, learn better ways to communicate, and also how to care for yourself. Looking forward to getting to hear more about you and to help you maneuver through life with a pwBPD.

Here's a link to one of the workshops on what taking care of yourself means:

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=112473.0

[WifeInOz]

  Hello
 You sound ALOT like me. I am financially dependant on my BPD husband. I go between loving him dearly to hating him SOO much that I hope he gets in an accident and dies( horrible to admit but true)... .that is HOW bad the abuse gets at time. I am convinced I have battered woman syndrome even though he has never hit me; he has thrown silverware, wine glasses and a bowl of pasta at me though.  Im here  if you need an ear.

Julie