What we can control

[wantmorepeace]

Some discussions on the boards and my own struggles have led me to think about the amount of time I spend thinking about my ubpd sibling vs. the amount of time I spend thinking about myself.  That she is disordered, there is no doubt, and that it is extremely challenging to have a loved in in those circumstances, there is also no doubt.  And it's good to have that validated.  But sometimes I think the amount of time I spend focused on that indicates that I haven't really accepted that she is not going to change.  Moreover, I spend so much time wondering what she is going to do next (and worrying about how I will respond) and so little time thinking about what I want in this situation.