BPD and Depression

[CTHusband]

Hello everyone.  I am currently struggling to help my wife with what seems to be overwhelming depression.   She was diagnosed with BPD 15 years ago before we were together.  She has been through DBT several times and most of the time is able to use her skills to control her emotions.  Its gotten harder since we have had children (3 and 4).  She also has some pretty bad chronic pain issues that are really bringing her down. 

The depression is really bad lately.  It's hard to get her to see doctors for her physical issues.  When I try to push for her to get more help, thats when I get unreasonable pushback.  She gets very defensive.  I have been the one calling doctors and making appointments for her, which she sometimes goes to and sometimes just ignores.  Not sure exactly where I am going with this but I just wanted to reach out and see if there was anyone else out there trying to unlock the puzzle of BPD and depression.  Any tips would be greatly appreciated.

 

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.