Struggling to stay positive

[Parents! Get help here!]

I am trying so hard to stay positive. But when a trigger button is pushed it’s so hard to activate those positive skills. My mind goes to the worst, I become very sad, waiting for the other shoe to drop and start going down the rabbit holes.
My elderly mother who has Multiple personality disorder, Borderline personality disorder and Narcissistic personality disorder, told me she has an appointment tomorrow. Now I am her caregiver and usually go with her to medical appointments.  But I’m afraid this could be a legal appointment. She has blindsided me; pulled the carpet out from me so many times, that it’s hard not to expect the worst. Another impulsive destruction without regards of the consequences could be on its way - once again. I have no leverage or safety net. I just want peace in my life. I’m 61 and going through the same things with her since I was 4, 6, 8, . . . .18, 20, 25, . . . 35, 45, 60. I moved here from a different state to take care of her. Gave up everything. I no longer have the resources to get out of this. I put all my eggs in one basket and now I’m stuck.
Struggling. And afraid to see what tomorrow brings.

[PlanB]

I am trying so hard to stay positive. But when a trigger button is pushed it’s so hard to activate those positive skills. My mind goes to the worst, I become very sad, waiting for the other shoe to drop and start going down the rabbit holes.
My elderly mother who has Multiple personality disorder, Borderline personality disorder and Narcissistic personality disorder, told me she has an appointment tomorrow. Now I am her caregiver and usually go with her to medical appointments.  But I’m afraid this could be a legal appointment. She has blindsided me; pulled the carpet out from me so many times, that it’s hard not to expect the worst. Another impulsive destruction without regards of the consequences could be on its way - once again. I have no leverage or safety net. I just want peace in my life. I’m 61 and going through the same things with her since I was 4, 6, 8, . . . .18, 20, 25, . . . 35, 45, 60. I moved here from a different state to take care of her. Gave up everything. I no longer have the resources to get out of this. I put all my eggs in one basket and now I’m stuck.
Struggling. And afraid to see what tomorrow brings.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders