Talking again

[Depression = 72% of members]

Hey,

So I was NC with my exBPDgf for 8 months broken up for a year.  She recently text me saying she's ready to talk.  We had plans to "talk" but she bailed on me.  

Basically, I have been waiting for her to come to me because I don't want to scare her off again.  I would very much like to have her in my life, but Idont know how to make that happen.

I told her if she doesn't want to meet in person she can just text because maybe that would help start the friendship back, but I am not sure that is happening either.

I don't need a talk with her anymore like I did before when we first broke up.  I'm over everything she did, and I have forgiven her.  I would just like to have her in my life because I care a lot about her.  

Any suggestions on talking to her? I already told her Ive forgiven her for everything hoping to make it a little better for her if she's anxious about meeting, but I don't think that helped.  

I've been thinking of just playing the waiting game letting her come to me when she needs or wants, but at the same time I would really like to be able to text her more, but I guess that just comes with time.

[Shedd]

Hey,

So I was NC with my exBPDgf for 8 months broken up for a year.  She recently text me saying she's ready to talk.  We had plans to "talk" but she bailed on me.  

Basically, I have been waiting for her to come to me because I don't want to scare her off again.  I would very much like to have her in my life, but Idont know how to make that happen.

I told her if she doesn't want to meet in person she can just text because maybe that would help start the friendship back, but I am not sure that is happening either.

I don't need a talk with her anymore like I did before when we first broke up.  I'm over everything she did, and I have forgiven her.  I would just like to have her in my life because I care a lot about her.  

Any suggestions on talking to her? I already told her Ive forgiven her for everything hoping to make it a little better for her if she's anxious about meeting, but I don't think that helped.  

I've been thinking of just playing the waiting game letting her come to me when she needs or wants, but at the same time I would really like to be able to text her more, but I guess that just comes with time.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[WifeOfProbableBP]

Seems like you already know how to handle it. Too much push from you will make her back away. She will contact you if & when she wants. It's out of your control. Sounds like you need to focus on yourself for now, learn how to create your own happiness & contentment, so you don't feel like you have that void. Once you master that, you will realize that she's not the only one who can make you happy.

... .Now if I can just learn how to take my own advice.