Bringing up emotional abuse in counseling

[Depression = 72% of members]

Does anyone have suggestions on how to bring up the verbal/emotional abuse you've experienced from you SO in counseling?  This is our fourth visit in counseling together and the counselor suggested I bring it up.  My husband is critical, sarcastic, calls me names and has explosive anger at times.  I feel like I walk on eggshells when I need to bring things up with him. 

[Lucy2015]

Does anyone have suggestions on how to bring up the verbal/emotional abuse you've experienced from you SO in counseling?  This is our fourth visit in counseling together and the counselor suggested I bring it up.  My husband is critical, sarcastic, calls me names and has explosive anger at times.  I feel like I walk on eggshells when I need to bring things up with him. 

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[Naughty Nibbler]

Welcome Lucy2015:    
It might be helpful for you to have a few "I" Statements handy.

A couple of possible statements for your situation might be:

"I want to be respected.  When I'm called names, I feel angry and disrespected and it only make things worse."

"When I feel that I am criticized, or sarcasm is used, it never leads to a productive outcome.  I need to be able to discuss problems in a calm and respectable manner."

I found the 19-minute video at the link below a helpful tutorial for using "I" Statements:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RDExNRJCUp0

The template and sample below could be helpful as well.
[Quote from: www.kimscounselingcorner.com/feelings-2/own-your-feelings-with-i-statements]
How To Use I-Statements:

Start by identifying how you feel: mad, sad, frustrated, etc.
I feel __________

State the reason you feel this way or what happened that led you to those feelings.
when __________

Try to identify the reason the person’s actions led to those feelings for you.
because __________

Let the person know what you want instead.
I would like __________ .

Example:
Your spouse snaps at you during dinner and it really hurt your feelings. Here’s an I-statement to use with this scenario:

I feel hurt when you snap at me like that because I worked hard to cook this nice dinner for us. I would like you to use nicer words and tone with me, and to know if something happened today that has led you to be in a bad mood.[/quote]

I'm glad your SO is in counseling with you.  That gives you hope.  Check out the video and the lesson.  Perhaps give "I" statements a try during your therapy session.  Let us know how it goes.  

[Grey Kitty]

Hello, and welcome!

One thing to consider in bringing this up is whether you want to label the behavior or not; he may not accept a label like verbal abuse or emotional abuse. You can get lost in an argument about what does or doesn't constitute verbal abuse instead of resolving the original issue, and that won't help you.

I'd suggest you let the counselor bring up those labels, and even be cautious about repeating them.

You can sidestep that diversion by directly describing what you experience and you feel about it, like NN suggested.

[UserZer0]

Just a quick warning from a recent experience; be prepared for your SO to inform you, after the session, that he didn't appreciate you "criticisizing" him in front of the therapist.

I'm hoping that the comments made about insults and critisism do sink in eventually, because for now I only get denial when I bring the events up in conversation.