Hi going places
I do remember you, welcome back here
Dealing with depression isn't easy. Managing our difficult thoughts and emotions can be quite challenging. Have you in this past year taken steps to better deal with your depression? How is your health now?
Amazing. I finally reached out, and receive the help that untangled what was done, why, and how to (a) not repeat and (b) manage life in a healthy way!
Being right and being validated for being right has its value. Whether we are right or whether we are wrong though, I think the most important thing is whether we are happy and whether the people we care about are happy. Currently you are very concerned about your youngest child's welfare.
Being validated, assured that you are NOT the 'crazy one'... .was enormous in the healing process. It is so very important.
Do you have any indications based on recent information that your daughter is thinking about hurting herself? Or is your fear primarily based on behaviors you might have witnessed from her in the past? Either way, it is horrible for a parent to walk around thinking your daughter might attempt to hurt herself and I am very sorry you are experiencing this.
Yes. I do have good information.
You have not spoken to her for a long time now. You do mention some email contact that did not go so well. Were you the one to initiate those email contacts?
Yes, I am the one who initiates. She does not. She is reactive.
Those rages on Twitter you mention, were they about the email contacts she had with you?
Yes. I can tell when she is raging at me, and when she is raging at others. It is very obvious.
Though you haven't spoken to her in quite some time, you still follow her social media expressions. Could you perhaps tell us a bit more about these posts which you describe as very dark? What does your daughter talk about?
Suicide, Suicide dates, cutting, depression, anxiety, panic attacks, worthlessness... .it's dark.
Becoming a mother is a significant event. It is sad that based on what you've shared, her father seems unwilling to be there for her now. When you say your daughter wants to be daddy's girl, are you echoing something she has directly expressed herself or is this your own assessment of her behaviors that you've witnessed?
She 'was' daddy's girl. Went with him to a part time job where he was a mechanic, her 16th bday she and he went to visit his dad out of state so they could go riding, etc.
Of my 3 kids, she is the most easily manipulated.
The divorce and the circumstances was devestating and she was affected in the most negative way.
Fear is a powerful emotion that can seriously affect us. What are you most afraid of, that she might do something to hurt herself or are you also afraid of other things?
My fears are that she is not mentally healthy, unrsolved hurt, trauma and anger AND THEN on top of that, that her husband is abusing her. Mentally, emotionally, financially and sexually.
My fear is that she will stay in a very bad situation, dark place, because she is stubbon, and does not like to be 'wrong'. I fear, I will lose her, forever... .
You currently are NC with your daughter, would you like to have contact with her again? Is this NC situation possibly also something that scares you, the thought that this NC might last or the uncertainty about how long this NC will last?
Take care
Yes, I do want to have contact with her, I want to get her to help, to a doctor, to a counselor.
Again, myself and her sister (who she does talk too) are the only 2 trying to steer her to help.
Knowing the stubbornness, and her mind being so fried, she could go the rest of her life not talking to me... .
I just want her to get help.
And it breaks my heart she will not go.
