update

[Gracie0521]

well the accusations continue
i didn't end up attending my paint night as I was so exhausted by the time it came around.
He is currently in counselling I had planned on going to the gym while he was there... .he started making comments so now I am sitting parked outside waiting for him.
I slept a lot today... becoming resentful.
I have no clue how to deal with this... .I am starting to attend al anon again- father is an alcoholic ( type a personality disorder before borderline personaluty disorder was a diagnosis) 1 brother a drug addict another an alcholic that lives out of country in recovery and another that has been doanosed with border line personality disorder. Anyways I gind that the principles and steps of al anon helped me cope with my family. I am seeing alot of similar traits so I am hoping it helps me understand and cope with him. I love this man but I can not deal with the relationship the way it is.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Meili]

Relationships with people exhibiting BPD traits can be very frustrating, exhausting, and overwhelming. I think that almost all, if not all, of us here have said that we feel that exact way. You are not alone.

I hope that al anon is helping you cope.

What sort of comments did he make about your going to the gym that caused you to sit outside and wait for him?

There is a lot of great information on this site to help you learn to cope with the relationship. The basic tools and lessons in the sidebar to the right were a huge benefit to me when I landed here. I learned so much about how communicating differently could change the outcome of a situation. I suggest that you give them a peek and see if they can help you as well.

Keep writing - we will help you get through this.

[Gracie0521]

hey sorry for the delayed response.
He makes accusations of cheating- black and white thinkong that if I'm not there for him or doing something with him I'm out looking for someone new. I knew I could have had time for the gym and should have gone... .but i also saw the indicators of a really bad fight if I did. He was also very negative towards the counselling in general vecause I was going to go do something for me. So I stayed that night he was on the cusp of whether or not he should spend his money doing DBT as it isn't cheap.  I didn't want to give a reason real or imagined for him to stop attending counselling ... .I will start reading the side column ... al anon does help at least I'm around other people.