Back to square one

[Depression = 72% of members]

I did what I should not have.
I watched his FB page. And there it was. All' the left wing stuff which was gone while he was with me... .Back.
He is back with his ex. The left wing One. I knew it, instantly.
And I checked her profile too. She did not post anything while he was with me. Now... .all political stuff. Again.
They are back together.
And I feel like ... .I am desperate. Desperate.
I do not want to suffer like this anymore. I cannot stand this anymore. Why I did such a stupid things.
Why.

[UnforgivenII]

I did what I should not have.
I watched his FB page. And there it was. All' the left wing stuff which was gone while he was with me... .Back.
He is back with his ex. The left wing One. I knew it, instantly.
And I checked her profile too. She did not post anything while he was with me. Now... .all political stuff. Again.
They are back together.
And I feel like ... .I am desperate. Desperate.
I do not want to suffer like this anymore. I cannot stand this anymore. Why I did such a stupid things.
Why.

[Sadly]

Hey sweetheart
 
Try not to be angry with yourself. You did that because it's what we do when we are dealing with a broken heart and broken dreams. It's not just unique to BPD relationships either. Try now to remember how awful he was to you before he left, you don't want that again do you? How mean he was about the teddy bear! Thoughtless cruel and very unkind. Well, she's got that now, yes? She wasn't an ex for no reason was she and one day she will be an ex again and she is in for a world of pain before then... ? Go hug your son, cuddle your bear and try to get some sleep. Tomorrow you
start anew 
Love from
Sadly xx

[UnforgivenII]

Oh Sadly you are an angel
I am crying and shaking
How can this be possibile? Who does that?
I am shaking

[cubicinch]

cutting someone from your world, who was your world, can be the hardest thing in... .the world! Listen to me, saying such daft things!

Things will get better... be strong! What you're going through is only normal and we've all been there X

[Sadly]

I do sweetheart, a few days ago when I saw my ex in a shop. I ran away, I cried, I was shaking and I was very sick. Someone here pointed out it is  our bodies reaction to trauma. That is why you are shaking, you saw stuff on FB that traumatised you. Please try not to worry. Our good friend here Larmoyant was the same a few months ago and look at her now . We can do it too, I know we can.  
Love from
Sadly xx

[Sadly]

Hey Cubi, that's not daft that's neat and well said   
Sadly x

[cubicinch]

Hey Cubi, that's not daft that's neat and well said   
Sadly x

group hug... .this is what we are all here for 

[UnforgivenII]

Thank you guys. I love you all  

She Can have him. No sex and yells and all the lies and female friends and putting downs and cheating and prostitutes and secrets and exes. Enjoy

[lovenature]

Give yourself some compassion. Know that the cycle will repeat. You are not back to square one even though it feels that way because you have learned what you have to this point.
Focus on you and the peace away from the rollercoaster that is a BPD relationship.

[Tottie]

I did the same a couple months back, and it felt very bad. I learned my lessons and didnt checked her social media, and i blocked her on every communication channel.

[Duped 1]

Mine lives just a few miles away. I wish she would move