Chronic suicidality help

[hopenlove]

This is my first time on a forum.  I don't know what to do!  My son was diagnosed with BPD 2 years ago.  I just see him getting worse and worse at the moment.  He has started using cutting and suicide threats as a way of dealing with his emotional pain.  He refuses to contemplate any form of therapy (he did dbt for 12mths but never really practiced he skills or did homework and ended up getting kicked out) so he has a bad view of dbt and group therapy based on that experience.  My main concern is that he keeps saying he "wants to die" and argues the various reasons, very persuasively, why he shouldn't be in this world.  He is totally closed off to anything other than that conclusion at the moment. It is so distressing  to see him self destructing. Any advice on how to deal with this would be helpful.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Naughty Nibbler]

Welcome hopenlove:   

He has started using cutting and suicide threats as a way of dealing with his emotional pain.  He refuses to contemplate any form of therapy (he did dbt for 12mths but never really practiced he skills or did homework and ended up getting kicked out) so he has a bad view of dbt and group therapy based on that experience.  My main concern is that he keeps saying he "wants to die" and argues the various reasons, very persuasively, why he shouldn't be in this world. 

I'm so sorry for both you and your son.  It has to break your heart to see him like this and not be able to help.  I've listed some resource links for you.

The Safety First link will help you with a Safety Plan.  You have to take your son's threats seriously and having a plan mapped out can help in a crisis.

SAFETY FIRST

SUICIDE IDEATION IN OTHERS

The group of resources below can be both beneficial to you and for your son.  The first two Resources are for the US and the third one is for International Resources.  It would be a good idea for your son to have the numbers handy in his phone, so he can reach out to talk to someone.  The same thing would apply to you.  Suicide prevention services are there to help distressed family members as well.

SUICIDE PREVENTION

TEXT CRISIS LINE

INTERNATIONAL SUICIDE RESOURCES

The two resources below can offer some helpful information and possible strategy to consider using.

What to do when feeling manipulated by suicide threats

SUICIDE IDEATION IN OTHERS

These two links go to a DBT Self-Help Website. The information could be helpful for your son.  Perhaps you could even print out some of the information for your son to use.

IMPROVE THE MOMENT WORKSHEET
www.dbtselfhelp.com/html/improve_the_moment_worksheet.html

PANIC LIST
www.dbtselfhelp.com/html/panic_list.html

I hope some of this helps.  Keep us posted on how things are going.   

[heartandwhole]

Hi hopenlove,



I'm very sorry to hear about your son's suicidal thoughts. That is so difficult. In your shoes, I'm sure I'd feel incredibly sad and helpless.    You've found a great place for support. There are mothers and fathers here who have been in similar situations and understand what you are going through. The site also has lots of tools and resources that can help make things better. There is hope!

How old is your son, hopenlove? Does he live with you?

Keep writing, it really helps. We are here for you.

heartandwhole