Cheating is funny sometimes

[chitownbpd312]

Ok for the sake of sanity, I won't go over why she is BPD, I just have my hunches.  She cuts, she manipulates, lies... .cheated on me, then left me.  Okay so were in like 4 weeks of silence.  I finally reach out because she has my stuff.  I figure she's fine.  Still not dating anyone.  Keeping the replacement (he's very odd, I've made clear idc, I even start hanging with another woman shes found out)... .She starts leaving SM posts that seem more waifish like usual her.  SO I figure its time to approach nicely and see if I can have my belongings... .Boy was I wrong.  After about 30 minutes of me attempting intermittently to get her to respond she changes her twitter and instagram profile pictures to her looking at the love-triangle boy.  It's laughable.  I just gave up and said fine.  Keep my stuff.  About 20 minutes later I see a tweet (I shouldn't have checked back... .I unfollowed a long time ago)... .And it says "apparently I've been holding hands wrong the last few days"... .Good for you! Keep it hidden then resurface the rebound.  It just makes me run more.  All the while I laugh because she acts like I've never met another woman in my life.  I'm telling you NC there is no leveling off with these people.  Even if you're the good part of the love-triangle at this point you are being DECEIVED.  This guy is more than happy to take it too.  I prefer no abusive relationships.  I may not be here long.  But I figured I'd share.  Hopefully we all get to a point not being here because we all deserve MORE!

BTW - kinda funny when they act so horrible they don't realize how horrible the binge eating has gotten.  Not sexy at all.  That explains the boyfriend.  Set the bar low so they keep worshipping you. Haha.

[marti644]

Chitown, people come in all shapes and sizes, why does it matter what the replacement looks like? Or if you are with someone as fast as she is? Is this a matter of winning and losing? Is it a competition?

You say you don't care but I'm pretty sure you do. You wouldn't be looking at your social media or analyzing her relationship if you didn't. And you read as angry, which is normal when there is a breakup, especially when one person moves on right away. It's normal to care about someone you loved and healthy to mourn that loss I think. How are you working through the pain and anger?

[Skip]

I also know I wasn't cheated on because I had her social media passwords and she was around 24/7 I never didn't have tabs... .She has zero attractive males in her life.  She has no dating profiles set up.  My friends all say she disappeared on social media. I also know I wasn't cheated on because I had her social media passwords and she was around 24/7 I never didn't have tabs... . 

Can you tell us more about the cheating?

Instead of a guy she replaced me with new cast mates from a local theatre group, and she knows I see her tweets. She actually tweeted that she has not felt so full of "love" because they had the play this weekend.  Who can say they feel so much love from something that cannot love you (a play)... .

It sound like the she opted out of the "sports" world for the "arts" world - and she is all in. This is not unusual for a person with "BPD traits" to idealize a job, hobby, lifestyle.

She unblocked me last Thursday on FB and blocked me again Sunday... . Have no idea what that means.

She was checking up on you. There are lots of benign reasons. Remember, you are checking up on her on Spotify, and you have her passwords and looked into her social media accounts.

What does that mean? You're curious... .keeping tabs.

Mine just seems to have given up and even if she doesn't miss me I feel like she won't go for a guy until she deems him enough to make me jealous... .she knows I don't get jealous of the theatre nerds she hangs with.

Her choice of someone to date may have nothing to do with you, Chitown.

I admit I still love her.  That's why I care.

I'd let go of the idea that "jocks" are superior to "theater nerds". Community theater companies are "rookie league teams" and when they win (have a good show) it is just as exhilarating as winning the Appalachian League.

Even though it hurts, I might indulge this part of you right now ("I admit I still love her". It's not really "is funny sometimes".  A girl you loved walked away. That should hurt. It's a significant loss. You need to feel the pain and grieve it, learn from it, and move on.

I applaud you for not jumping into another relationship.