he lied to his employer why am i shocked- painted as the nutcase

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

so in following advice i received from the domestic counciling
his employer basically dismissed me and any valid complaint I had.

he also asked was this a relationship and I said yes it was... and he said well he heard differently.

seriously in my state you can only get a PO if you are romantically involved or family NOT just worker and customer type of thing

i once again was told 'we hope you would move on like adults'  so invalidated all over again. 

my only recourse now is to file an appeal to ammend what his atty added and keep him far away from me when he delivers.

I was told today this is his lively hood.    i cant even believe any of this.

I even stated twice so this is allowed at your office, he is allowed to do as he did... and his boss said I am not saying that you are.
he actually hung up on me dismissing me as if im some crazy lunatic.

[Idsrvt2]

so in following advice i received from the domestic counciling
his employer basically dismissed me and any valid complaint I had.

he also asked was this a relationship and I said yes it was... and he said well he heard differently.

seriously in my state you can only get a PO if you are romantically involved or family NOT just worker and customer type of thing

i once again was told 'we hope you would move on like adults'  so invalidated all over again. 

my only recourse now is to file an appeal to ammend what his atty added and keep him far away from me when he delivers.

I was told today this is his lively hood.    i cant even believe any of this.

I even stated twice so this is allowed at your office, he is allowed to do as he did... and his boss said I am not saying that you are.
he actually hung up on me dismissing me as if im some crazy lunatic.

[jambley]

This happened to me, she painted me black & told her boss I was a nutter even though I was being emotionally abused behind closed doors. They are just sick, twisted human beings. If only others knew what she was like - I have a huge list a catalogue of her abuse. I can excuse her disorder but not her treatment towards me.

[Mutt]

Hi Idsrvt2,



Does this boss have a boss? Move up the chain and file a complaint with his boss. I'm sorry I don't know you're back story, I was reading your post and remembering when my ex looked cool and calm and I was getting agitated because our lawyers weren't privy to what she was like behind closed doors, it was frustrating because I'm the one that looked bad. I'm just speaking for myself when I say this, learning about BPD helped tremendously because I can see patterns, knowing about triangulation was a big one because now I stay in the middle and I don't engage in drama. What's going on?

[Idsrvt2]

Hello, and thank you for your reply, it's a long back story.
To summarize he is my letter carrier
He threatened getting a RO on me then said he wasn't , then I was served.

I then counter filed the next day
Court was the same back n forth nonsense ... him wanting it all dropped... .first hearing I did not have an atty so his slipped in that his client needed to still do his job and thus could still deliver... .well that was supposed to be just for a week... .until I could get an atty and the court did not even have my file at all at the hearing

Next week... .another all day affair my atty thru legal aid refused to have them remove that he could deliver mail to everyone but me even said I was wallowing... .she was very combative refusing to get me more time ... and on,y wanted 1.5 months of protection for me

She wasnhorrific...
She said we can't get his employer to do anything

Yesterday his employer said he will follow what the courts say and he suggested I go thru the attys to work this all out
He also said the best case for him would have been that the relationship ends and we handled it like adults , however with the RO in place that doesn't allow for it.

His boss didn't really let me speak and cut me off as saying he cannot take sides.

Well he knows that my x is mentally not sound as my x supposedly told him that.

All this is drama I don't need... .I literally am barely hanging on.

I'm in counciling and their legal rep suggested I contact his employer and I did... .next step,is finding an atty to appeal this mess as his boss seems that he will do what the courts say.

This is nutz... .I was painted as a nutcase and I'm sick of it... .what sane man stays in my neighborhood and crossing in front of my car?

Hi Idsrvt2,



Does this boss have a boss? Move up the chain and file a complaint with his boss. I'm sorry I don't know you're back story, I was reading your post and remembering when my ex looked cool and calm and I was getting agitated because our lawyers weren't privy to what she was like behind closed doors, it was frustrating because I'm the one that looked bad. I'm just speaking for myself when I say this, learning about BPD helped tremendously because I can see patterns, knowing about triangulation was a big one because now I stay in the middle and I don't engage in drama. What's going on?

[Idsrvt2]

His abuse was all covert nothing in writing. He even used to warn me to never put things in writing, on date one he mentioned a RO.   They are very very sick and I think with mine he did this to another neighbor as well.   Like his boss did say it would have been best to move on like adults but the RO prevents that... well his nutty employee did that, not me.   All about control and still being able to see me and be around me.   He walks on the opposite side of the street then comes onto my driveway...     all under the guise of it is his job.   

who knows what he said about me... .but they have to know hes not mentally sound.   Im waiting for his retaliation probably accusing me of violating the order by callign his boss... its only a matter of time

This happened to me, she painted me black & told her boss I was a nutter even though I was being emotionally abused behind closed doors. They are just sick, twisted human beings. If only others knew what she was like - I have a huge list a catalogue of her abuse. I can excuse her disorder but not her treatment towards me.

[GlennT]

You both have a lot of feelings bottled up. I don't even know this dude, but he seriously creeps me out. You probably should'nt piss him off. This dude may have a lot of anger bottled up for many years, plus  his love for guns and paranoid delusions. Postal workers have gone on shooting sprees. He has a difficult job to do on top of his serious mental illness. Work on yourself, and forget the hazing and what people think about you.

[Idsrvt2]

thats just it, im trying to get myself protection, and so far feel like I have none.   
it shouldnt be this much of a fight to get the 500ft of protection atleast around my home while im here. the PO i have is worthless as he is delivering and can show up here if he really wanted to or do as he wants.     
I agree with you he is very creepy
to be honest somedays i just want out of this country and to move to a place with tighter gun laws.   This has seriously made me fear for my safety.     

Im not trying to piss him off at all... .im just following what the domestic abuse advocates suggested i deo to try and get safety for myself.    Most PO have the 500ft in them, mine does but his atty took that away from me.

My health has taken a huge beating... and I just cant seem to function enough to figure out someplace else to live even to get out of this mess... .but even then he still will live near me.   

the ideal would have been for him to stay 500ft away from my home... .  until then i stay inside unless i have to go outside.  I dont want to have him do somethingelse

You both have a lot of feelings bottled up. I don't even know this dude, but he seriously creeps me out. You probably should'nt piss him off. This dude may have a lot of anger bottled up for many years, plus  his love for guns and paranoid delusions. Postal workers have gone on shooting sprees. He has a difficult job to do on top of his serious mental illness. Work on yourself, and forget the hazing and what people think about you.

[marti644]

Idsrvt2,

Sounds like a VERY stressful situation, hang in there! When I was discarded and refused to be recycled my BPD-ex she exploded and threatened me with violence among other things. Was super shocking and left me feeling violated and extremely anxious. I went to a friends place for several nights just to get my head straight and stay away for a few days until my anxiety was reduced. Is there any place you could stay for a few days to do this? Just a suggestion it sure helped me and got me out of the drama triangle for abit and helped lift the FOG!

[Mutt]

Hi Idsrvt2,

I can see how distressing all of this would feel  Was your attorney trying to prove that he's mentally ill? Is he diagnosed?

[Idsrvt2]

No, my attorney was worthless... I had to tell her to negotiate.  She fired me last week... no one seems to care, the police, my attorney , detective, his employer ... .all I want is 500ft of my home and can't get it.
I should have paid for an attorney and not gotten legal aid... .but I had four days to find someone , snow storms and all... .because his atty did his job... and fought for my x.

He is not diagnosed that I know of, although while we were still together he came to me one night and said he had a personality disorder and depression and was getting help... .he dumped me the day after his first supposed session.

I lost a nice apartment because I was so evolved with him... .I was in the process of moving, but he always had issue with it... not wanting me to move from his route... .  the PO is just temporary for 2.5 more months... as I wasn't told by my atty both of ours was weak...
How they allow this , an abused with 40 plus firearms near me is beyond words.

I'm completely numb, and really have no fight left to file an appeal... .my life is slipping away... I'm behind on everything

Hi Idsrvt2,

I can see how distressing all of this would feel  Was your attorney trying to prove that he's mentally ill? Is he diagnosed?

[Mutt]

Hi Idsrvt2,

I'm sorry that you're going through a difficult time, there are periods in our lives where it can feel overwhelming and it helps to lean on others to get through these periods. We'll walk with you through this. It'll take time for things to stabilize, I think that thing one thing that is really important so that you don't burn the candle at both ends is self care. What do you do for self care?