Help

[Sam777]

Been in a relationship with a BPD partner since 2011.
Thought I was crazy... .all the typical stuff... .found Stop Walking on Eggshells... .thank goodness.
My partner denied then understood, got treatment, got out of treatment, got back into treatment (of his own accord) and on medication... .I had my husband back!
Now he has convinced himself, his care team (psychiatrist, psychologist, GP) and himself that he is "fine, good, not in need of meds, and not a person with BPD"... .that is all in my head.

My counsellor strongly advises against couples counselling (we have tried several times, until they turn the light on him and he says they attack him and we don't go back) although my husband says that is all we need to save our marriage.
I have asked for us to do our own tx for some time before we revisit couples work.
My counsellor fears it will undo much of the work we have been doing to build back up my self esteem and sense of worth.

We have decided today to divorce... .well, he has decided... .black and white if I am not up for couples work... .I  am both relieved and I am sick to my stomach... .there is so much good and so much bad... .
Has anyone had any success staying in a marriage such as this with a partner in denial and not being treated?

Please weigh in, I need advice, encouragement, something.
Thank you.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[GreekGoddess23]

hello!

That sounds like quite the predicament... .remember to love yourself first. I would listen to your therapist and do what is best for YOU. Can I ask if you two have any children?

[Sam777]

He has a 17 year old not living with us.