I really miss and love my wife and I want her to come back

[ACP]

My wife and I have been together since 2004 we got engaged in 2007 and married in 2009 in almost a year ago she left.  She says she is not in love with me anymore. I really don't believe her, I think the stress of us losing our house  was too much for her and she blamed me for. Well some blame is to be laid on me not all of it should be.  Near me she is currently with another man and living with him but from what she has told me she is living with him to survive. I really have no clue why she is with this man Because she really has nothing good to say about him and he really displays the personality of someone she would load in Orland because she really has nothing good to say about him and me really displays personality of someone she would  normally loathe.  I have asked her why she still contact me after she has repeatedly told me that she has to cut off all contact with me and her answer was I am her best friend, I am the only one that understands her and i am the only one she can be herself with.  We did everything together and we loved it. We truly were best friends and enjoyed being with each other more than any other couple light now.  Both of us actually did not like doing anything without the other, and we rarely did. Period we have the same interests the same morals we have same objective for our lives.  I am really beside myself and have fallen into the hole of depression. She means everything to me and to be without her makes me feel empty. I really never had friends  and really didn't care because I had her head and we did everything and I'm not saying that lately we did everything together and just loved each other's company in. No I have no clue what to do with myself , Every thought I have is about her.  I really just have no clue what to do and I just hurt so bad. I don't know what I'm asking for here but I guess really I have no one  did you talk to and no one that understands what I'm going through. Most people just tell me I'd be better off without her because of the way she's treating me when you're in a relationship I did everything for her if people noticed. I did everything for her because I wanted to and I married her because there's no one on this earth I'd rather be with than her and I want to spend the rest of my life with her.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[livednlearned]

Hi ACP,

I'm so sorry, I know it must hurt to lose her. Break-ups can be so excruciating and painful, and it's clear you really love her and wanted to be together with her.

How often do you two see each other?

Is she diagnosed BPD?

Depression can feel awful. Are you doing anything to take care of yourself?

LnL

[Pedro]

Hi ACP.
I am sorry to hear of your bad news. My gf with BPD has just finished our relationship of almost 6 years. I understand a lot of what you're feeling. My ex and I did everything together and we never wanted to be apart. Sorry you're hurting there's nothing else I can say, I feel your pain and loss.

[ACP]

Hi livednlearned

 Yes she has been diagnosed. Since her diagnosis things that she would normally apologize for or feel badly after words have changed to I have BPD. She uses her diagnosis as an excuse sometimes .  We do not see each other very often because of the man she's with, he is very possessive and we actually contact each other through Facebook messenger opposed to text message. She used to tell me do not text me anymore tonight because he is watching.  When we do meet up I obviously don't go to the house I just made her down the street and she is very scared when she gets into the vehicle. The one time she actually got down in the passenger side so she could hide and told me to just quickly get away.  Since I wrote that message there have been some things happen that she is actually moving out of that place. Guess if she called for help?  He got mad and apparently started trashing the house. She says it was because of drugs, alcohol combined with no sleep but she is not letting that be an excuse.  He is very sorry and all that but she is moving out regardless. She tells me she's just being nice to him until she gets her stuff out so he doesn't do anything but when she is out she said she is not giving him the time of day basically he will be dead to her.  She has plans to move in with another woman that actually just moved into the house. So when you asked how often do we see each other the answer is before she started seeing him minimum once a week sometimes 3. While she was living at that house we saw each other twice in the two months she has been living there. I have seen her and talk to her quite often in the past five days because I am helping her make plans to move find a place and everything else involved.