Electro-Shock Therapy (ECT)?

[OffMyRocker]

We have tried so many different medications and variations and none really do much for my daughter.  We are at our wits end and running out of options.  I fear I will lose her, as she says she wants euthanasia to be legal, so she could be released of her constant misery.  She was sharpening knives when we slept very recently and considering slashing her neck, as she had talked about with the last hospital stay or two.  She says she is only living for my sake and would much rather be dead than live the rest of her life in so much pain and anguish.  Counseling, though good for the first 2 sessions so far, is too slow and relief takes time for her, unless you count small windows that go almost as fast as they came.  Has anyone experienced the use of ECT and did it help?  I fear it causing damage to her mind, memories, intelligence or creativity.  I wish I knew more than just what most sites say.  I need more actual experiences.  She's back in the hospital again... .5th time since January. I feel so hopeless.  We need to find something... .anything to save her.  I can't lose my baby girl... .I just can't!

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[OffMyRocker]

In my research online... .I found another safe alternative to ECT  Neurostar® TMS Therapy!  And it's pretty local to me, too!

Check this out... .this might be the Godsend we prayed for... .

www.tmscleveland.com/neurostarTMSTherapy/index.php

[wendydarling]

Hi OffMyRocker

I'm so very sorry to hear your DD is back in hospital, in crisis. I have no experience of ECT nor seen it discussed here. Has this been an option suggested by the medics? My DD spent a year in crisis in 2015, it was a combination of working to get the meds right and yes that took a long time and in 2016 DBT that very gradually brought her through, it took time, small steps and felt like a lifetime.

The most significant intervention that helped my DD during her time of crisis/repeated hospitalisation was the crisis team working with her, they helped her put together a crisis plan to avoid hospitalisation, they supported her, she could call them, they'd talk her through. They helped her take control.

What's the psychiatrist saying about meds and is a crisis team working with her on SI/self harm?
Has your DD just started counselling, is it therapy?

It's overwhelming, your at your wits end, how are you coping? It's so important we look after ourselves, self-care, while this is probably last thing on your mind (it was mine) I appreciated the reminder, it helped me make it through each day. What do you do for self-care? I practice mindfulness.

We are here for you.   

Hugs and hope.

WDx

PS - just seen your latest post, I'll check it out

[OffMyRocker]

Her psychiatrists and a couple nurses from the last 2 stays recommended it as a last resort, since she's tried about 20 or so meds (and several combinations) and none really work.  The crisis line here will ALWAYS make her go to the ER for suicidal ideations or plans to harm... .they don't talk through things when it's that extreme.

I mentioned her already being in therapy/counseling above and in other threads.  :)BT is part of the counseling for my daughter, as well.  I am also planning to go when insurance allows for it... .to help me cope.  And I talk to others close to me for moral support.

[wendydarling]

I found this, though it is 10 years old, it maybe helpful.

Electro Shock Treatment (ECT) and Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation therapy  

Glad to hear you have support.

WDx

[OffMyRocker]

Thanks!  Sounds like there is more positive feedback, than negative.  My daughter has suffered from crippling depression for years.  She needs relief to stop her suicidal ideations or attempts to harm herself.

[Lollypop]

My DS has recently started somatic experiencing therapy for his anxiety and depression.

He also had a gong bath sound therapy session yesterday.

He's finding his own way to help himself. It's a positive step forwards.

LP

[OffMyRocker]

My DS has recently started somatic experiencing therapy for his anxiety and depression.

He also had a gong bath sound therapy session yesterday.

He's finding his own way to help himself. It's a positive step forwards.

LP

My daughter keeps saying she has nothing left to fight with.

[Lollypop]

Hi there offmyrocker

Your daughter is 19 and recently dx with BPD. Diagnosis comes as a shock to all of you. My DS reeled, felt that there was no point as his life would never be a happy one. Dx brought answers then more questions. He wasn't coping and neither was I.

DBT is the recommended therapy for DBT. It's a long trek towards a better life. We don't have access to DBT. My DS refused therapy. This was when he was 24.

My DS is now maturing at 26. He's what I prefer to call a late developer. At 19 his life was in a complete mess. Everything I did just made him worse, our relationship suffered to the point he couldn't cope with how I was reacting to him. He got dx at 24 following a crisis. I tried everything and anything to fix his situation for him. There are no quick fixes - I could see that.

I tried the last thing I hadn't tried before and that was to change myself and my Home environment.

It has taken me 18 months of hard work. Tiny baby steps for me to learn how to change my own behaviours, how to respond in the right way to him, how to communicate, how to not talk about anything serious but spend quality time to improve our relationship. I put improving our relationship above everything else.

This has worked for us. My DS slowly started to respond positively. He relaxed and started to feel safe, knowing that I would not react. He got more stable.

I feel for you. I can hear how desperate your situation is. I hope you find a therapist that can help you.

I understand you're looking for answers. It's so very painful to watch our kids just give up on themselves. It's scary. I'm glad you've got support. You've got many here that can relate to your situation. It helps to share and it helps us learn,

What do you do or say when your daughter acts out?

LP

[wendydarling]

My DD said that too OMR, and it hurts like hell. 

I've learnt they are fighting every inch harder than us, watch. Keep going, that's what I've done and am doing, it works, we are here with you every step.

You are working to get her out of the present crisis, please let us know how you are, we care.

WDx

[OffMyRocker]

Hi there offmyrocker

I feel for you. I can hear how desperate your situation is. I hope you find a therapist that can help you.

I understand you're looking for answers. It's so very painful to watch our kids just give up on themselves. It's scary. I'm glad you've got support. You've got many here that can relate to your situation. It helps to share and it helps us learn,

What do you do or say when your daughter acts out?

LP

We already have a great therapist, who does DBT.  It is just not fast enough for my daughter's desperation, as she was secretly a "Quiet" version of BPD for at least 7+ years.  She was only admitting to some depression after she attempted suicide twice in 7th grade with my RX's.  Since she told me months after and once she was claiming being online schooled, and avoiding the bullying that made her suicidal, made her no longer suicidal, there was nothing to be done back then.  It was only this past calendar year that she truly became typical BPD and finally opened up about suicidal ideations, etc... .and really began acting out more outwardly.

I used to react in hurt and fear to her cruelty and aggression.  Now I understand the things she does and says are not her true feelings... .nor are they really her.  These things are a negative part of her emotional issues and hurts and I tell her I know she is in a great deal of pain and frustrated... .not really with me, but with how she's constantly feeling.  I just happen to be in the way when she strikes out in pain and being overwhelmed.  Sometimes she's intentionally pushing me away, while other times, she's merely testing my loyalty, sincerity, acceptance and love for her.  She thinks she's unlovable and undeserving of those who care.  But I remind her how proud I am that she's still fighting so hard and trying to improve and that she is not going to lose my love during or after this struggle... .that she still has so much to live for.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[OffMyRocker]

My DD said that too OMR, and it hurts like hell. 

I've learnt they are fighting every inch harder than us, watch. Keep going, that's what I've done and am doing, it works, we are here with you every step.

You are working to get her out of the present crisis, please let us know how you are, we care.

WDx

I know she is fighting hard and sometimes she's fighting waaaay harder than it appears to the casual observer.

Thank you for your kind words of guidance... .I greatly appreciate it. 

((HUGS)) to you all, too... . 

[Lollypop]

But I remind her how proud I am that she's still fighting so hard and trying to improve and that she is not going to lose my love during or after this struggle... .that she still has so much to live for.

She wants to feel that there's something to live for. My DS was the same. It started with changing my home environment to a more supportive and loving one, importantly an environment where he wasn't my focus. I know this sounds counter intuitive but my DS felt the pressure of my expectations, my needs. I backed off and made sure I was light as a fairy, talking about anything but his problems. This takes effort and patience. I prefer to use the words "I really admire the way you xxxxxx" - one tiny word change and it places emphasis on them rather than you.

My DS can't hear when he's highly anxious. I learnt to make one short statement with validation in a non emotional voice. Have you read about validation and practise it?

Hugs

LP

[OffMyRocker]

She wants to feel that there's something to live for. My DS was the same. It started with changing my home environment to a more supportive and loving one, importantly an environment where he wasn't my focus. I know this sounds counter intuitive but my DS felt the pressure of my expectations, my needs. I backed off and made sure I was light as a fairy, talking about anything but his problems. This takes effort and patience. I prefer to use the words "I really admire the way you xxxxxx" - one tiny word change and it places emphasis on them rather than you.

My DS can't hear when he's highly anxious. I learnt to make one short statement with validation in a non emotional voice. Have you read about validation and practise it?

Hugs

LP

I validate her all the time.

[August93]

Hello Offmyrocker,
My daughter had ECT last year for her depression.  She is now 19.  She was currently in a residential (for a year) and it was recommended.  I researched it and spoke to the dr that would perform the therapy.  He said it will help with the depression but not with the BPD symptoms.  At the time she was not dx with BPD.  The doctors and therapist at her residential did not feel she had it, however, her therapist outside of the hospital said she did and I thought so as well.  She had about 20 sessions between February and July last year.  She never felt it worked but the dr at her residential said it was.  My daughter hides her depression from me so it was hard for me to see any difference.  Anyway, she was discharged from residential when she turned 18 and came home but still going for treatment 2x a week.  She was back in the hospital a year ago this week for SI so we stopped the ECT.  She hated the sessions but I made her go because I wanted to believe it would work.  She did forget things - outings, people,  - nothing huge or really important and it did not effect her creativity or intelligence.  My daughter also tried a lot of meds and was taking 3 different ones on a daily basis.  After her last hospitalization last July she was switched to Effexor only.  This was the only medication that seemed to help her.  She is doing OK now.  I have heard a lot of positive things for ECT.  It may be a good option for your daughter.  Good luck!

[need a break]

We have tried so many different medications and variations and none really do much for my daughter.  We are at our wits end and running out of options.  I fear I will lose her, as she says she wants euthanasia to be legal, so she could be released of her constant misery.  She was sharpening knives when we slept very recently and considering slashing her neck, as she had talked about with the last hospital stay or two.  She says she is only living for my sake and would much rather be dead than live the rest of her life in so much pain and anguish.  Counseling, though good for the first 2 sessions so far, is too slow and relief takes time for her, unless you count small windows that go almost as fast as they came.  Has anyone experienced the use of ECT and did it help?  I fear it causing damage to her mind, memories, intelligence or creativity.  I wish I knew more than just what most sites say.  I need more actual experiences.  She's back in the hospital again... .5th time since January. I feel so hopeless.  We need to find something... .anything to save her.  I can't lose my baby girl... .I just can't!

Hi,
I am so sorry this is happening to you. I have been down this road with my D who is 30 for many many years.
My D has been through 15 ECT treatments in the course of a year.
I wish I could tell you it helped.  It did not do much of anything except wipe out her memory and make her kinda out of it all the time.
She was not depressed because she was in her words "dead inside" . She was not feeling much of anything.
Eventually her team decided no more.
Anyhow that was our experience. I hope yours will be a better outcome.