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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
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Author Topic: Returning to say Hello and thanks  (Read 421 times)
ynwa
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 293


« on: May 04, 2017, 09:02:37 PM »

Hello there BPD FAMILY!

I wanted to come back and say hello and more importantly say THANK YOU, to the board, mods and ambassadors especially. My time here helped and continues to help me on a daily basis. But at a certain point, I had to make radical changes, and part of that was setting aside old habits and ideas.  I spent time away from social media and the board without taking time to let people know. I had to do it without apology and take control of where I was and continue to go.  I'd love to say it's forward, but our lives rarely go in straight lines.

In some ways my life is much easier and happier and others the challenges have yet to ease up.

But the lessons on this board, which I did continue to read and use in my life have become essential in putting myself first and learning to balance that with the others around me.

At a certain point, I felt I could no longer comment on the board until I got my own ish. In as straight as it could be.

This board gave me perspective and understanding of my codependency.  Learning to help and look after myself first is a constant work in progress, and have found it to be a slow but rewarding process.

When I can, I will return and help as before. 

Y N W A
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Kwamina
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Posts: 3535



« Reply #1 on: May 05, 2017, 01:52:29 PM »

Welcome back and thanks for the kind words ynwa Smiling (click to insert in post)

Self-care and being mindful of your own well-being is very important and sometimes that indeed might require stepping back from certain things.

Help out when you can, any help you provide is appreciated. Just this post is already quite helpful actually Smiling (click to insert in post)
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Oh, give me liberty! For even were paradise my prison, still I should long to leap the crystal walls.
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