New to this...

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

Hi - I am new to this, and hoping to find some people to support and have support after being with a BPD for many years.  I was with a partner for a number of years with BPD... .it ended a few years ago, but I am going through the healing process and learning to trust and be positive, but it is difficult, even after a few years.  I find that I go back into my old habits of not saying anything to avoid conflict with my current partner (who is amazing) and feel scared to say things.  Anyone have any tips to help in that situation?  I feel unfair that my partner needs to deal with my baggage from my exBPD, but I have come so far and want to continue healing.  I am very happy I am no longer with my exBPD and have found a new lease on life, but some habits are difficult to stop.  I also find it difficult for people to understand what it is like living with someone with BPD and the after effects. 

[Tubby Buns]

Hi - I am new to this, and hoping to find some people to support and have support after being with a BPD for many years.  I was with a partner for a number of years with BPD... .it ended a few years ago, but I am going through the healing process and learning to trust and be positive, but it is difficult, even after a few years.  I find that I go back into my old habits of not saying anything to avoid conflict with my current partner (who is amazing) and feel scared to say things.  Anyone have any tips to help in that situation?  I feel unfair that my partner needs to deal with my baggage from my exBPD, but I have come so far and want to continue healing.  I am very happy I am no longer with my exBPD and have found a new lease on life, but some habits are difficult to stop.  I also find it difficult for people to understand what it is like living with someone with BPD and the after effects. 

[heartandwhole]

Hi Tubby Buns,



I'm glad you reached out for support. I think your not wanting to bring baggage into your new relationship is a healthy and caring attitude. I can understand your feelings of finding it hard to trust and feel positive again. I can definitely relate, as can, I'm sure, many other members here. You are not alone!   It does, indeed, take time to recover.

What kinds of situations evoke your "bad habits" Tubby?  Can you give us an example?

Keep posting. We're here to support you.

heartandwhole

[Mavrik]

It's difficult to explain to others the impact a BPD relationship can have, as I used to post on a normal dating site forum and they didn't have a clue what I was going through so I came on this site and it's great as everyone gets one another. And supports as well as offers advice and support.

Maybe you can ask your new partner to read up on BPD so she's aware of the issues and what it's all about. Knowledge is always a good thing

Also what I do is 'live for the moment' the best you can and not look too far back and not too far forward.

You'll definitely get there im sure