I want her to understand where I was in this relationship

[Pedro]

Hi heartandwhole and livednlearned   
Thank you for your support, & I will never tire of thanking you, your colleagues, volunteers, & all persons associated with maintaining this support network regardless of the outcome of my circumstances.
I have read the some of the Success Stories section on the message board, I know there are no guarantees or certainties, but have you come across other couples, marriages, & similar scenarios to mine where possibly things can turn around or reconcile?
I am having to be prepared for either outcome eventually & don't expect anything to happen with my ex   but it's so hard but am hanging in there day by day. Every single post I have put on your site has been a frank, honest, open, heartfelt, fearful account, & I hope any viewer can glean any positives out of my story, to intervene earlier in their relationship to help improve, maintain & enrich it.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[heartandwhole]

Pedro, you are right that there are no guarantees and each couple is unique. Remember that my relationship had a very similar situation, except I was "Ms. Wonderful" in your description. PwBPD was living with his "ex" for a while, too, while he was planning a new life with me. Our relationship was long distance.

Long story short: pwBPD and his "ex" are now married.  I don't know how they are doing, but I like to think that they made it through and are thriving together.

It does happen. Take care of you and see how things go.

heartandwhole

[Pedro]

Hi all.

Just came home from work this evening approximately 45 minutes. Ex gBPD comes downstairs from talking to Mr Wonderful. I know when she rings him now as when I look up the staircase from the kitchen, our old bedroom the door is now closed, where that never happened when we were together. I don't have issues with that am respecting her privacy & new life, I don't eaves drop on her conversation, not interested.
So I am cleaning pots in the kitchen & cooking my dinner also. After 5 minutes or so she comes down the stairs & says 'hello', I say 'hello' back.  I have always been polite, civil, mature, sensitive to both her circumstances & my own.  Then she says 'what's up with you'?  I said 'nothing's wrong with me'.  I said 'why would you ask that'?  She reply's 'you're not my friend are you'?  I said 'Jane' (not real name), 'I have always been your friend, why wouldn't I be your friend'?  She says 'why are you being off with me'?  I reply ' I sense you don't feel happy or comfortable with something, is there anything you would like to talk about'?  I gave her full continuous eye contact, gave her positive body language & posture & tried to give/show empathy. She turned around & said 'forget it I'm going to bed for the evening', then ran up the stairs & slammed the door behind her for an evening of Skype, email & or text with Mr Wonderful I guess?  I didn't lose my cool, I did not react or retaliate with JADE, like I did dozens of times when we were a couple.  I left her be did not follow her & said nothing. I don't know why she behaved/aced like this, this is the first time she has been like this since she ended our relationship?  I don't know if it's related to her menstrual cycle or she's had an argument with Mr Wonderful. Perhaps she got annoyed because I didn't respond in a way she is used to when we were together?  Perhaps she resents me being in the house & is trying to push me out making it uncomfortable for me to keep living here who knows?
As Skip, heartandwhole, livednlearned who have been supporting me predominantly may testify to, I have gone above & beyond with my ex considering the circumstances we are both in presently.
We're not even a couple anymore, i don't have to tolerate this in my house/our home.  Am proud of how I reacted in a new good way, still learning the basics here guys n gals.

[Pedro]

Wanted to share this with everybody if I'm not getting on everybody's nerves too much?

I was looking in my new bag today which I am using for work.  It also doubled up as a travel bag on my recent trip to Ireland to visit my Sister 3.5 weeks ago.  Looking for my ID badge & I come across this envelope in children's stationary paper envelope addressed to my ex Jane ( not real name)  I open it because I will not give it to my ex.  It reads as follows;

Dear Jane,

We all miss you very much & especially Uncle Pedro (not my real name)!  Please please please get back together with Uncle Pedro and make him happy again, he is always so sad because he loves you and misses you so much. Hope you are keeping well & hopefully you will get back with Pedro to make ME happy.

Lots of love,


Mary (not real name).

This is a letter I have copied word for word that my 10 year old niece & Goddaughter has written for my ex g BPD to see, neither her parents or myself knew about this letter till I saw it today.  I will not give it to my ex.  But for a 10 year old to see me like this whilst I stayed with her & her parents, made me cry in my locker room when I think I can't shed any more tears over my ex.