Claims I only come up to get him sick.

[misuniadziubek]

So I drove over to spend time with my BPD bf last weekend. I was in tip top shape as far as I knew. Then I woke up Sunday morning with horrible painful abdominal cramps and diarrhea and vomitting all at once. I spent the day in his bed because I was feverish and didn't have the energy to drive.  Finally around 11pm left by car to sleep off at home before going to work the next day.

Managed my morning shift but at the end felt too sick, so went home to sleep.

Last night got a message from my BPDbf saying that he came down with the same symptoms as me.

Neat. I never fuging see you. You're here just often enough to give me the plagues you discover. Gonna call you a fuging pilgrim

That's the text he sent me. Didn't hear from him for the next 8 hours. Then he texted me "I just got out of the hospital".

But he hasn't responded to any further questioning. Just enough to let me know, 'Oh by the way, look how badly you fuged me up.'


It's not fair. I didn't knowingly come up knowing id had contracted a virus, but he acts like I intentionally got him sick.

Moments like these I get so frickin tired of this relationship.

I don't think I'm going to see him again next weekend. I'm very frustrated and I don't like the way he approaches me when it comes to things like this.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[isilme]

#1 - it's okay to be frustrated and realize this is not a caring way to express upset that you accidentally shared a virus with him

#2 - it's okay to decide if the relationship is not giving you more benefits to its negatives.  BPD is hard, and some ppl feel better cutting out early, and some are like me and in it for decades.

Sorry you had a stomach bug. they suck.  I'd almost rather have food poisoning because you usually can figure where you got it and not eat there again, and once it's well, all out of you, you can et some rest and feel better.

BPD can't handle pain or discomfort.  They also seem to have to express those feelings AT a person, usually the one(s) closest to them.  So instead of feeling miserable but being able to still communicate, all you get is wounded animal pain. 

[misuniadziubek]

#1 - it's okay to be frustrated and realize this is not a caring way to express upset that you accidentally shared a virus with him

#2 - it's okay to decide if the relationship is not giving you more benefits to its negatives.  BPD is hard, and some ppl feel better cutting out early, and some are like me and in it for decades.

Sorry you had a stomach bug. they suck.  I'd almost rather have food poisoning because you usually can figure where you got it and not eat there again, and once it's well, all out of you, you can et some rest and feel better.

BPD can't handle pain or discomfort.  They also seem to have to express those feelings AT a person, usually the one(s) closest to them.  So instead of feeling miserable but being able to still communicate, all you get is wounded animal pain.  

Finally got him to talk to me. He told me he got pumped full of fluids and painkillers at the hospital and is experiencing a lot of symptoms still.

He ended it off with

So if you could not continue to haul whatever gross ass sicknesses the unwashed mongrels you watch manage to come up with up here, that'd be neat.

I work with kids. I love working with kids. In the 5 months I've had this job I've not come down with a single bug from my kids, which is great. And none of them have been away sick in the last week or complaining of stomach issues, so it's highly unlikely it came from that. My mom was the first person to get sick so it's likely she brought it home from somewhere.

He on the other hand is miserable and is taking it out on me. He's a trying to make me feel shi77y about my own job. I refer to the kids I look after in such a way. It's incredibly disrespectful. It's not fair to pull at strings and try to make me feel miserable too. I do my best not to infect him by not going to see him when I know I'm sick.

I'm incredibly angry with him right now.

I want to tell him to not worry, he won't have to see me for a while. It's a 4 year relationship and he's become better in so many ways but this stuff is still very painful for me.

I'm choosing not to lash out. I'm going to ignore that last comment. It's cruel and not at all based in truth.  I'm going to wait until he messages me when he's in a better mood. I don't deserve his anger or abuse over this.