Divorced. Let the healing begin

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

My divorce is final. She is officially my ex-wife, and I have returned to my home after a 10-month forced exodus (threats of false allegations). She walked away with far less than was offered 7 months ago. I guess she had enough and decided to finally settle instead of going to trial. Part of me wanted the trial, if only to have the chance to tell a judge what she had done. But nah, enough is enough.

My home and yard were a complete mess - she lived there like a bad tenant. Thankfully, all of the possessions she had hidden were there (still hidden - duh), and there were no holes in the walls. She took things from the home that were specified as mine in the separation agreement. Who knows how she rationalized doing that. Less than one day after coming back to a home lacking a kitchen table and chairs. she texted me asking for a favor! I didn't respond. I guess the block on her phone number must have expired. Time to renew it.

The relief of it all being over with is amazing. It will be sometime before I even contemplate seeing a woman or dating. I used to be a very trusting person. She all but destroyed that.

I want to thank everyone who commented on a post that I made. At times I was probably depressed. How could I not have been? Living in a 240-square foot apartment. I was lucky though - my employer paid for it.

You were all very understanding and supportive.  I am very grateful because you helped me when I felt lost.

The Teacher

[The Teacher]

My divorce is final. She is officially my ex-wife, and I have returned to my home after a 10-month forced exodus (threats of false allegations). She walked away with far less than was offered 7 months ago. I guess she had enough and decided to finally settle instead of going to trial. Part of me wanted the trial, if only to have the chance to tell a judge what she had done. But nah, enough is enough.

My home and yard were a complete mess - she lived there like a bad tenant. Thankfully, all of the possessions she had hidden were there (still hidden - duh), and there were no holes in the walls. She took things from the home that were specified as mine in the separation agreement. Who knows how she rationalized doing that. Less than one day after coming back to a home lacking a kitchen table and chairs. she texted me asking for a favor! I didn't respond. I guess the block on her phone number must have expired. Time to renew it.

The relief of it all being over with is amazing. It will be sometime before I even contemplate seeing a woman or dating. I used to be a very trusting person. She all but destroyed that.

I want to thank everyone who commented on a post that I made. At times I was probably depressed. How could I not have been? Living in a 240-square foot apartment. I was lucky though - my employer paid for it.

You were all very understanding and supportive.  I am very grateful because you helped me when I felt lost.

The Teacher

[Panda39]

Aaaaaaaand now it's time to exhale   

[RedPill]

(begins the slow clap)

Cheers, Teacher.
-
RP

[takingandsending]

Hi Teacher.

I hope you have a long and happy life. The unhappiness of this will fade in time, and you will heal. Probably no one really can understand the anguish that spouses of people with a personality disorder go through.

[ForeverDad]

Recovery is a process, not an event.  Good that you're not planning to jump into a rebound relationship.  I recall that in the months (and a few years too) after my separation and divorce that too often my conversations veered into ex bashing, not that it wasn't true, it's that those aren't topics to drift to (circle the drain) when meeting someone.

[The Teacher]

Recovery is a process, not an event.  Good that you're not planning to jump into a rebound relationship.  I recall that in the months (and a few years too) after my separation and divorce that too often my conversations veered into ex bashing, not that it wasn't true, it's that those aren't topics to drift to (circle the drain) when meeting someone.

ForeverDad:

I do understand that tendency to bash. I've avoided it. On Facebook, I never discussed my divorce or my ex's behavior. When the divorce papers were signed and I had my house back, I simply posted that I was sitting in at my dining room table enjoying a cup of tea. In my dining room. In my house. People who know me understood what that meant, and there were more than 100 positive reactions to that post. That's the extent of it.

I'm 57. I have no desire to enter into a relationship, and I think it may be years before I could ever trust a woman intimately as I did her. If and when I'm ready, I will know. But after 4 years of being completely controlled in almost every possible way, I am simply enjoying the freedom to do whatever I want when I want, or nothing at all, if that is what I want to do.

Thank you so much for your words of wisdom throughout this ordeal.

[The Teacher]

Hi Teacher.

I hope you have a long and happy life. The unhappiness of this will fade in time, and you will heal. Probably no one really can understand the anguish that spouses of people with a personality disorder go through.

Thank you so much for wishing me well. Your last sentence is so true. To lose my daughter from an overdose and then have to be put through this ordeal, anguish sums it up.

[Sluggo]

Congrats Teacher