Question about transparency

[StaticAgeMisfit]

I'm wading through the roller coaster life of having an SO with BPD, and like a lot of people, just barely keeping my head above water. My SO also suffers from severe depression (as do I) and an anxiety disorder which adds a little more spice to things. For too long I kept my head in the sand in regards to how to handle her shifting moods, baseless accusations, etc. Eventually I started doing my research and employing the recommended different strategies for the various situations that come up. I certainly haven't mastered them, but I'm getting better and I have noticed a more positive response from my SO during the difficult times.

My question is, to avoid any kind of misinterpretation, is it advised to tell her the techniques I'm using and why?      

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

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[Lollypop]

Hi Staticagemisfit

I'm normally on Parenting and, like you, have been using the techniques and skills to improve the way I interact with my DS. He's been re-dx with GAD, depression and BPD traits.

I told him that I'd found support for myself and that I was learning a better way to communicate with him. I then didn't mention it specifically but got to work.

I found that over time he started to use the same behaviours and phrases that I was demonstrating. My DS uses SET without even knowing what it is. His validation skills are excellent.

i hope this helps you