My BPD friend is incredibly self-centered.

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

My BPD friend (well, not really my friend anymore) is incredibly self-centered.  Two years ago, she had plans to move across the country with her boyfriend.  A few months before the move, she got a job, which was supposed to be temporary, to make some money.  They told her that she could eventually be a manager, since she has a college degree.  She told her boyfriend they weren't moving and then broke up with him.  She had no care about the fact that he had given notice that they were moving and almost lost his apartment.  And then, when she needed to move, she called her dad, whom she had refused to talk to for months, to help her.  It was all about her and what she needed.  Then, she had the nerve to text me, after she had tossed me out of her life and refused to speak to me for months, if she could live with me.  

She has no concept of how her actions have affected others.  The closest she's ever gotten is to tell me that she knows she said "rough" things to me and put me through "evil times."  She followed that by telling me she's not that person anymore.  A few days later, she blocked me on everything without a goodbye or anything.  

[SummerStorm]

My BPD friend (well, not really my friend anymore) is incredibly self-centered.  Two years ago, she had plans to move across the country with her boyfriend.  A few months before the move, she got a job, which was supposed to be temporary, to make some money.  They told her that she could eventually be a manager, since she has a college degree.  She told her boyfriend they weren't moving and then broke up with him.  She had no care about the fact that he had given notice that they were moving and almost lost his apartment.  And then, when she needed to move, she called her dad, whom she had refused to talk to for months, to help her.  It was all about her and what she needed.  Then, she had the nerve to text me, after she had tossed me out of her life and refused to speak to me for months, if she could live with me.  

She has no concept of how her actions have affected others.  The closest she's ever gotten is to tell me that she knows she said "rough" things to me and put me through "evil times."  She followed that by telling me she's not that person anymore.  A few days later, she blocked me on everything without a goodbye or anything.  

[jambley]

Self-centred was a core character trait of my undiagnosed BPD/npd ex gf. However much I sacrificed my principles, time etc the demands and control were never enough; in short she was insatiable.

Why do we fall for these people? Because we want to help them and think they will improve, in my experience there was no improvement. My ex showed her true self over time and it was a slow and gruesome experience to witness.

[SummerStorm]

It really is so frustrating to see how they have no real care for anyone else.  Back in June, I went to NYC to see a basketball game.  My BPD friend knew this because she happened to be in NYC the day before, and we talked about it.  That morning, I texted her to say I was on the train and that I wasn't going to be on my phone much during the day because I was with my father and didn't want to be staring at a screen all day.  Her reply?  "I'm going to the beach today!"  No "Have a nice trip" or "I hope your team wins."  It was all about her.  The same thing happened on her mom's birthday last year.  She texted her all about how she was eating breakfast with a new guy and how great he was, etc. 

Probably the worst thing was when she started asking me to take surveys for the convenience store where she works.  I took a few because they only took a minute or two to complete.  But then, it got to the point where I wouldn't hear from her for weeks and would suddenly get a text asking me to take one.  Last summer, I was away all day in NYC, and she knew this because I sent a pic of me walking down one of the avenues.  I got a reply back, and all it was just a survey code.  That pissed me off.  The next month, we decided to hang out for the first time in over a year.  She had me fill out a survey before she left her apartment and then filled one out using my WiFi before she left my house that night.  The surveys died down for a while and then started again.   I finally put a stop to them and told her that I feel used when she sends me a survey, especially when in response to me sending her a text that goes unanswered or when I send her a picture of me clearly doing something fun.  She got mad because she doesn't have the ability to understand why that would make someone feel used.  That being said, she did finally stop sending them for good.