Nightmare

[37years]

I fell in love with my husband 37 years ago , I believe it was love at first sight. Looking back I knew something wasn't right with him. I knew he would hurt me. I tried to avoid him but he literally stalked me and I could help but love him. He has abused me for 37 years verbally emotionally and physically.

Fast forward to 2015... .It got so bad I googled angry, mean, abusive men. It started me on a nomoreabuse2015 journey to the end. That's where I'am now.

He has left me 6 times 4 times went to another state came back has been in a behavioral hospital 2 times. The first time came home got mad went back to the hospital with suicide thoughts and stayed 2 weeks. He came home last Monday after 2 days he has left again took all our money and is now in a hotel about 5 miles away. Tomorrow he may go back in the hospital but don't know. That's what he told the hospital.? They called me.

On top of it all he started a smear campaign against me that I was recently made aware of ... .Because my kids didn't want to hurt me so they never said anything until his behavior went spinning out of control. As my kids would say ... .This is crazy even even for us.

I need help, support. I feel like I dont know who I've been married too all these years. I think what's wrong with me? Why didn't I get it along time ago? His physiatrist recommended stop walking on eggshells which lead me here. I'm so glad to be here ... .Thought it was just me.

37years

[snowglobe]

Dear 37Years, you are a survivor. The fact that you are here, and asking for help already speaks volumes about your emotional strength. I'm so sorry this is your reality, is this the worse episode you h had in years? Do you have an access to the legal council, regarding the money? Do you have any support system in place to deal with this setuation? I can't advise you on much, as I'm in a tunnel vision myself, my uBPDh of 16 years is detaching and raging simultaneously. Although you have 21 years of this coping and survival on me, I know it doesn't feel easier. I wish you peace