I saw a therapist

[SheWhoHunts]

I saw a therapist because I was concerned about a recent incident where I lost control of myself and confronted my DIL of 13 years.  I didn't mean to confront her.  I've known for a very long time that I am always at risk of being punished by not being allowed to speak to my son or not permitted to be a grandmother to my grandsons.  The silence of all those years, the sleepless nights wondering how I could be a better MIL. The pain of not being allowed to get to know my grandsons.  The strangeness of hearing accusations that I had never made come back to me through my son.  The change in my son's behavior over the years.  How unexpected to hear the therapist say that I needed to read Walking on Eggshells.  That my DIL most likely has BPD.  I was advised by the therapist to not communicate with my son or his family for now.  That my apologies and attempts to reconcile likely  play out in some form of punishment directed toward my son.  It's strange to think that all my attempts at kindness were perceived as threats all these years.  I'm relieved to not have to play that game any longer, but scared about the future for my son and his family.

[Turkish]

What precipitated the initial emotional cut- off, how did this begin?

[Mutt]

Hi SheWhoHunts, 



I don't think that all of your acts of kindness where perceived as threats, it depends on what image DIL held in her mind at the time, a pwBPD see people as either all good or all bad. How old are your grandsons?