The 2 common threads in "Success Stories."

[bananas2]

Was reading the "Success Stories" today and realized there are 2 common threads to success in a relationship with a pwBPD:
1) The non-BPD realized that all they could do was work on themselves and not try to "change" the pwBPD.
2) The pwBPD eventually came to accept to their diagnosis and actively treated it.

Well, I've been working on #1 for some time, and truth be told, it is helping. As for #2, I've spent a great deal of time talking with therapists - his therapists, my therapists, & our marriage counselor. After years of trying to determine the cause of my BPDh's behavior, a therapist and then 2 subsequent therapists diagnosed him with BPD. I was relieved to finally know and understand what was happening with him. He, understandably, was not thrilled with the dx. However, he seemed to initially accept it and went about treating it. This meant him jumping from therapist to therapist. We searched online for a very long time trying to find a BPD specialist who does DBT. Finally found one & BPDh has now been in therapy with him for a year or so.
Hub recently tells me that his therapist does not think he has BPD & they are not engaged (and never have been) in DBT. I discussed this extensively with my therapist and on the forum here. I eventually came to the conclusion that it doesn't matter if hub accepts his dx, so long as he is working on the symptoms.
But now, after reading all the success stories and seeing that the ppl who progress with their therapy are the one's who accept their dx and actively work through DBT, I'm questioning my initial position that the pwBPD does not need to accept their dx.
Thinking now that just like any disease or disorder, treating the symptoms are simply not enough. Wondering if maybe the pwBPD needs to accept, just like an addict or cancer patient would have to accept their dx in order to properly be treated.
I can only imagine how much our lives & the pwBPD life would improve if would could simply say things like "It seems you are dysregulating. Please use your tools." I can't even imagine how much more helpful that would be.

Thoughts/feedback/input appreciated as always!