Seeking advice before therapy appt tomorrow

[bananas2]

I've recently begun therapy with a new psychologist bc my last one retired a few months ago. I've seen her a few times & she is familiar with the situation with BPDh bc she used to be his counselor years ago for a brief time. Since I have PTSD caused by BPDh's past behaviors, she has agreed to have him come to a session with me tomorrow eve to explain PTSD symptoms and how he can help me with it. Last week he agreed to do this, but last night we were talking about a delicate subject (unrelated to this) and he went full-on "Mr. Hyde" - his usual screaming and threatening. This was late at night and we live in an apt building, so I was afraid someone would call police bc he was yelling so loud and I couldn't talk him down. In my panic, I gestured with my hand toward his mouth to be quiet, and when he pulled his head back, he said I scratched his face. I don't know if my nails actually caught him or not since it was dark & I couldn't see his face. Yes, I know I shouldn't be putting my hand near his face when he is enraged, but I panicked about the noise & possible police call from neighbors.
So he tells me afterward that he is going to lie to my therapist in session tomorrow and tell her that I intentionally physically hurt him and also threatened to tell her that I am suicidal, which I am not and he knows I'm not. I explained to him that she is a mandatory reporter and so if he says these things to her, she will be obligated to report to police. He said he doesn't care. So I told him I may have to cancel the appt then. So he said he's going to call her then instead.

So now I'm thinking I may just have to call and tell her I can't see her anymore. I also feel I wouldn't be able to move on to another therapist either, bc he may do the same with the next therapist. I'm supposed to have an individual appt with her tomorrow afternoon and then our joint appt is scheduled in the eve. I was planning on explaining all this to her, but I fear he will call her before my appt so he can tell her the lies. I don't want to give up my therapy. I desperately need it.
Any advice? I really don't know what to do here.

[Fie]

Dear bananas2,

I am so sorry you are feeling so stressed out. Please accept this hug 

And please take a deep breath.

This therapy is there for you. Not for your BPD. If he falsely accuses you, you just deny what he's saying - to your therapist, but also to him. I think telling him 'I did not want to harm you, or myself, and I choose not to discuss it further' could be an appropriate reaction.

I also do not believe a qualified therapist will report you being suicidal without any evidence and you on top of it denying it.

Furthermore your therapist is aware of the BPD of your partner. My very strong guess is she will quickly see what's going on - and keep focusing on you, in stead of the unhealthy accusations of your partner.

You are saying your partner would join you tomorrow so your therapist can explain to him a little about your PTSD and about how he can help you with it. I am thinking that your partner behaving the way he behaves around you does not do your PTSD any good. He probably realizes this very well and has therefor started to sabotage your joint meeting tomorrow. Do you think it's useful for you to go to your therapist together tomorrow ? That one is up to you to decide, but in any case I do think you deserve to be helped through therapy and you should not let anyone that take away from you. I also do think that, regardless of your partner talking to  your therapist about your presumable suicide attempt, or not, you should address this subject with your therapist. I think it could be very beneficial for you if your therapist is aware of the stress such things are causing you, and could help you deal with them better.

Again, take a deep breath. Nothing is going on. You are going to therapy tomorrow, because you are worth it. With or without your partner.

[Sunfl0wer]

Oh man... .

I'm thinking... .
You have no control over what someone else does, just you.
Likely is best to just follow through with both sessions.

I cannot imagine a therapist acting on sanctioning someone who is not claiming themself suicidal.  They are not obligated to report third party suicide claims. Also, if the cut to the face was an accident... .or intentional... .why werent police called then? That person can call police themself. (Unless he is a minor, which he is not)

I think it may be best to assume this therapist is somewhat competent and will not be succumbing to bull drama.  A person needs to claim themself homicidal or suicidal to get sanctioned.  ... .my understanding is that it has to come from the homicidal or suicidal person, idk tho... not a second person.

I am not sure you need to cancel an appointment.

However, if someone was trying to set me up for jail or sanctioning... .I would not spend another second in their company.  I see this is the improving board... .but your safety comes first.  Maybe post on the legal board too because these are serrious claims and often a person who starts claims like his... .end up escalating to more claims or actions to set one up.

Please look out for yourself.