Hi everyone. I'm in a tough spot. I have been in a relationship with someone in the BPD spectrum for ten years now. The first five were brutal, and I stuck around to protect my partner's daughter. I love her deeply, once loved her mother deeply (I still feel love for her, but there's a lot of caretaker mentality happening in my mind), and feel a very real connection. Despite a lot of efforts, a lot of different strategies, it's simply not tenable. My own mental health is at stake. I want to be a part of their lives, especially her daughter, I have a good relationship with her biological, which is a big deal, but I cannot seem to find a way to get her to commit to real and lasting therapy. My SO is a smart person, very charming, but she is emotionally abusive to me. I feel she has an opportunity to change her life, to view the world differently, if she just accepts that she needs to work on this, but, again, easier said than done. It's heartbreaking to see someone so close to being able to manage their world. She as all of the tools she needs to improve her dark view of the world, and to shift the actions of others as something that is simply a result of individuals thinking differently than ehr, vs individuals who think differently ATTACKING her beliefs. There's a lot of defensiveness and paranoia.
Am I thinking the impossible? Is there a constructive way to guide her towards a scenario where therapy is an absolute must do? I'm terrified, she has threatened to hurt herself, and the responsibility of her going through with it is destroying me. I'm stuck.
