She went back to her ex, does anyone have stories of replacements?

[Beware of Junk Psychology...]

So here's a bit of background, if you care to read:

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=316248.0


Basically, I dated my exBPD for about a year, we had plans to get our own place together once she got back from a family trip to Korea. A week before she was due to leave, she broke up with me (over conflict caused by me, admittedly) and immediately said she was freaking out and needed to 'get away'. She flew out to LA immediately and stayed with and slept with her ex bf, after telling me the entire relationship she was no longer attracted to men .

I met up with her after her trip last Friday, and chose not to bring up the r/s. I thought I might have a chance of getting her back and I was worried about triggering her. Turns out none of it matters because he flew in from LA this week and now she's posting pictures and telling mutual friends about how they're "close friends again, and she can see potential if she moves back to LA as planned"

I've read some similar things on here, but please help me understand. When we had our first 'fight' right before we broke up, she was in the middle of writing me love letters apparently. And a week later she somehow fell for her ex again? It's so insane to me because he was so painted black when we were together. He had a full affair, she took him back, and then I guess they broke up again. She told me so many times that he would never change and that he meant nothing to her.

Funny too because in our breakup conversation I asked her why she had given him a chance but not me? Her response? "Taking him back was a huge mistake and I've learned from that." Talk about jokes. So many times she told me that I was the first person she'd felt this way for, the first person she's actually wanted a future with. Now I feel like she just told me what I wanted to hear. Was she a liar or did she truly not know what she wanted? Or just another classic case of splitting?



Ugh help me make some sense of this all.

[dreamslender]

So here's a bit of background, if you care to read:

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=316248.0


Basically, I dated my exBPD for about a year, we had plans to get our own place together once she got back from a family trip to Korea. A week before she was due to leave, she broke up with me (over conflict caused by me, admittedly) and immediately said she was freaking out and needed to 'get away'. She flew out to LA immediately and stayed with and slept with her ex bf, after telling me the entire relationship she was no longer attracted to men .

I met up with her after her trip last Friday, and chose not to bring up the r/s. I thought I might have a chance of getting her back and I was worried about triggering her. Turns out none of it matters because he flew in from LA this week and now she's posting pictures and telling mutual friends about how they're "close friends again, and she can see potential if she moves back to LA as planned"

I've read some similar things on here, but please help me understand. When we had our first 'fight' right before we broke up, she was in the middle of writing me love letters apparently. And a week later she somehow fell for her ex again? It's so insane to me because he was so painted black when we were together. He had a full affair, she took him back, and then I guess they broke up again. She told me so many times that he would never change and that he meant nothing to her.

Funny too because in our breakup conversation I asked her why she had given him a chance but not me? Her response? "Taking him back was a huge mistake and I've learned from that." Talk about jokes. So many times she told me that I was the first person she'd felt this way for, the first person she's actually wanted a future with. Now I feel like she just told me what I wanted to hear. Was she a liar or did she truly not know what she wanted? Or just another classic case of splitting?



Ugh help me make some sense of this all.

[Ceruleanblue]

I'd bet this is pretty common. I mean, going back to their ex is less work. No trolling for someone new, no having to fake being "nice" or "normal".

My exBPDh left me three years ago(we reconciled after a couple months), and he went back to a girl he'd dated prior to me. I had no idea that she was a bisexual, dominatrix until he confessed that to me later. Trying not to sound judgy, but that's pretty much the exact opposite of ME. I think he went back to her because he perceived her as already groomed, and maybe an easy target. Funny thing is, she dumped him after a sex filled weekend, leaving him with questions of "why" and a bruised ego! I find that very funny, now. Maybe she sensed the erratic behaviors he was hiding, or he did something awful to her... .no idea.

They do seem to "move on" very easily and fast.