Diagnosis + Treatment
The Big Picture
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? [ Video ]
Five Dimensions of Human Personality
Think It's BPD but How Can I Know?
DSM Criteria for Personality Disorders
Treatment of BPD [ Video ]
Getting a Loved One Into Therapy
Top 50 Questions Members Ask
Home page
Forum
List of discussion groups
Making a first post
Find last post
Discussion group guidelines
Tips
Romantic relationship in or near breakup
Child (adult or adolescent) with BPD
Sibling or Parent with BPD
Boyfriend/Girlfriend with BPD
Partner or Spouse with BPD
Surviving a Failed Romantic Relationship
Tools
Wisemind
Ending conflict (3 minute lesson)
Listen with Empathy
Don't Be Invalidating
Setting boundaries
On-line CBT
Book reviews
Member workshops
About
Mission and Purpose
Website Policies
Membership Eligibility
Please Donate
May 01, 2025, 01:28:46 AM
Welcome,
Guest
. Please
login
or
register
.
1 Hour
5 Hours
1 Day
1 Week
Forever
Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins:
Kells76
,
Once Removed
,
Turkish
Senior Ambassadors:
EyesUp
,
SinisterComplex
Help!
Boards
Please Donate
Login to Post
New?--Click here to register
Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.
Practicing lawyer, Senior Family Mediator, and former Licensed Clinical Social Worker with twelve years’ experience and an expert on navigating the Family Court process.
222
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
> Topic:
Escaped from 22 years of Hell, but...
Pages: [
1
]
Go Down
« previous
next »
Print
Author
Topic: Escaped from 22 years of Hell, but... (Read 411 times)
escapedalive
Fewer than 3 Posts
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 2
Escaped from 22 years of Hell, but...
«
on:
August 23, 2017, 11:45:58 AM »
Hey there,
The morning after my wedding 22.5 years ago, I was introduced to a woman I had never met before and the girl I asked to marry me was never to be seen again----with the exception of cameo appearances over the next 2 plus decades.
I could not take another day where EVERYTHING without exception was all my fault because she had already fixed everything and the only reason she stayed with me was because of her therapist that she occasionally saw.
Yet even now, just over a year later, I vacillate and can be consumed with guilt and self doubt and wonder if maybe, maybe, maybe it really was all me.
I am on my 6th reading of "Stop Walking on Eggshells" (I hate the title BTW). It is quite literally the story of my life.
But I can't stop wondering if maybe I'm SO crazy that I've created this narrative in my head--and even brain-washed my 19 and 21 year old to think that I was actually a pretty good dad and husband.
Does it ever end? If I remarry into a healthy loving relationship will the guilt and self-doubt ever go away?
Logged
JaxDK
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Single
Posts: 85
Re: Escaped from 22 years of Hell, but...
«
Reply #1 on:
August 23, 2017, 12:15:38 PM »
From what I've read and listened to, coming out of a long term relationship with a cluster b personality, getting therapy can help and in some cases absolutely necessary. It might not be a bad idea to consider. You have been through a lot, and the effects of such a relationship can be long lasting. For some even lifetime without help. Specially if you subjugated to gaslighting over a long extended period.
You have to remember, you did play a part in the relationships dysfunction, all of us have. But it's only a part. You should never allow yourself to take responsibility for her part.
I can't tell you if it will last. I know for me it won't, I'm already far in recovery. Then again my relationship only lasted 2 1/2 years.
Logged
Everything is transient. Nothing stays the same.
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?
Pages: [
1
]
Go Up
Print
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
> Topic:
Escaped from 22 years of Hell, but...
« previous
next »
Jump to:
Please select a destination:
-----------------------------
Help Desk
-----------------------------
===> Open board
-----------------------------
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
-----------------------------
=> Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup
=> Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting
=> Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
-----------------------------
Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD
-----------------------------
=> Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD
=> Parent, Sibling, or In-law Suffering from BPD
-----------------------------
Community Built Knowledge Base
-----------------------------
=> Library: Psychology questions and answers
=> Library: Tools and skills workshops
=> Library: Book Club, previews and discussions
=> Library: Video, audio, and pdfs
=> Library: Content to critique for possible feature articles
=> Library: BPDFamily research surveys
Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife
Loading...