Some insights for you.

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Hi.
I just wanted to post this in order to answer some of the questions after they break up with us.

Apparently they do miss us even if they are doing the silent treatment. For some reason, they miss us but its not enough to make contact with us.
The reason i was told i wasnt being reached was fear, fear of being hold accoutanble for their acts ("he wont forgive me for what i did". Apparently they prefer to discard us instead of taking responsability for their acts (even when they like you to take responsability for your acts).
The second reason they wont reach us is that theres some punishment with the silent treatment and they dont want to be bothered when they are dating.
They also leave some sort of communication opened, even when they dont answer (through family, some media accounts where we arent blocked but still without response from the ex partner). I believe they leave it because as is being said in other posts, it's difficult for them to let you go. It may be used as well for punishment since you can see they are dating or flirting.
About being painted black, it seems as well that you get black as night if you hold them accountable for their acts. I see a difference between the first break up where i was at fault and the second breakup where she was at fault (being abusive, devaluation, etc). In the first case i got silent treatment as well, but she would answer an email once in a while. This time i havent got any response (two months and counting).
Its true that the devaluation or hater phase its in the context of control or empowerment. Mine i believe got empowered after giving her an engagement ring (thats the main difference between the previous breakups and this one), where she would come back and continue the relationship. This time, after they engagement ring, she prefered to be my friend while hurting me in the process.
It also seems they prefer to run away before losing that control.
I'm not sure if this time shes coming back to me or not, i think shes gone forever, since this time she is at fault.
And to finish this post, it's really necessary to go full no contact so we can truly detach and stop being used. My example of that is this: even when i got back the engagement rings, she would still play some sort of mind game where i was blocked from the messenger system in Facebook but not from seing her account (she knew it was me), and she knew that what i was going to see wasnt pretty. But at the same time she is leaving a Twitter account opened (though im blocked, but you can see they account from the outside, she used to have it restricted) with our tweets between us when she reached me, even a picture with her hand with the engagement ring. Didnt erased anything, Even left a post about thinking of commiting suicide from march 2017 (one would think that if shes dating someone new she would erased that post but she didnt).
So thats it. I hope to give some insight to all of you going through the same painful thing.

Roger and out.

[Xeonrebel]

Hi.
I just wanted to post this in order to answer some of the questions after they break up with us.

Apparently they do miss us even if they are doing the silent treatment. For some reason, they miss us but its not enough to make contact with us.
The reason i was told i wasnt being reached was fear, fear of being hold accoutanble for their acts ("he wont forgive me for what i did". Apparently they prefer to discard us instead of taking responsability for their acts (even when they like you to take responsability for your acts).
The second reason they wont reach us is that theres some punishment with the silent treatment and they dont want to be bothered when they are dating.
They also leave some sort of communication opened, even when they dont answer (through family, some media accounts where we arent blocked but still without response from the ex partner). I believe they leave it because as is being said in other posts, it's difficult for them to let you go. It may be used as well for punishment since you can see they are dating or flirting.
About being painted black, it seems as well that you get black as night if you hold them accountable for their acts. I see a difference between the first break up where i was at fault and the second breakup where she was at fault (being abusive, devaluation, etc). In the first case i got silent treatment as well, but she would answer an email once in a while. This time i havent got any response (two months and counting).
Its true that the devaluation or hater phase its in the context of control or empowerment. Mine i believe got empowered after giving her an engagement ring (thats the main difference between the previous breakups and this one), where she would come back and continue the relationship. This time, after they engagement ring, she prefered to be my friend while hurting me in the process.
It also seems they prefer to run away before losing that control.
I'm not sure if this time shes coming back to me or not, i think shes gone forever, since this time she is at fault.
And to finish this post, it's really necessary to go full no contact so we can truly detach and stop being used. My example of that is this: even when i got back the engagement rings, she would still play some sort of mind game where i was blocked from the messenger system in Facebook but not from seing her account (she knew it was me), and she knew that what i was going to see wasnt pretty. But at the same time she is leaving a Twitter account opened (though im blocked, but you can see they account from the outside, she used to have it restricted) with our tweets between us when she reached me, even a picture with her hand with the engagement ring. Didnt erased anything, Even left a post about thinking of commiting suicide from march 2017 (one would think that if shes dating someone new she would erased that post but she didnt).
So thats it. I hope to give some insight to all of you going through the same painful thing.

Roger and out.