My ex partner has BPD and she’s ruining my life, Need Attorney

[Monaco75]

Hi there,
I am 41 yo. When I was 39yo i met a 22yo old girl who I fell in love right away. She was he most amazing girlfriend I could dream of, she was so in love with me and made me feel like I was the best man in the world, the first six months were magical, she moved in with me two months after we met, we wanted to marry each other and everything. I met her parents when we were together for like 3 months, she said they loved me, they were actually saying they loved me, they happen to be some of the world’s wealthiest people and they are like the real narcissistic type. So after 6 months in the relationship, she started slandering me, accusing me of doing things I wasn’t doing, I would even apologize for things I didn’t do to achieve peace. She made my life a nightmare for like 6 months, abused me physically, emotionally and financially. I want to add that I discovered that her parents are forcing her to go to DBT therapist twice a week, one of them for trauma. She slandered me so badly that I lost most of my friends. She met another guy while she was telling me that she wanted to get back with me so I tried to confront her but she completely panicked and turned that guy against me, along with her parents they put a bunch of fake accusations together and filed a restraining order against me, actually her parents had her do that. I was so down, so in shock that I didn’t go against it, I honestoh didn’t want to hurt her either as the lies were so big it was crazy. She used that guy to slander me even more as he and extremely connected billionaire as well. They made me lose everything, my partners, investors, got me banned from places, a real disaster. It feels like I have been in a coma since that, i am unable to work because I am not well and they have ruined my reputation so badly that nobody wants to be associated with me.
She only stayed two months with that guy. I thought it was over but she did come to a place I was at few months ago and heard my name and panicked then threw a lot of crazy accusations about me, I ended up losing the job I just got and the few last friends I had. She has managed to convince people that they should not be around me, like they would get in trouble if they were doing so. I do not know how to stop that, basically her parents are the ones piloting this whole thing to protect her and they do not want to talk to me.
I now need to find a good attorney to help me to try to get my life back and go after her for all the abuse as well as the slander but I need someone who would understand the situation and would know what to do.
So I was wondering if anyone had any experience with lawyers and BPD? Would it help me to prove that she has that disorder for the court? And do anyone know how to deal with these kind of people?
Also I am located in Los Angeles.
Thanks in advance
M

[Portent]

You need to get a good Slander/Liable attorney. California is a per se state, if the things she is accusing you of are illegal you dont even need to show damages. It seems that she has raked in some deep pockets too so a lawyer should be willing to take your case.

www.dmlp.org/legal-guide/california-defamation-law

You would be surprised how many lawyers are failure with personality disorders. They might not be a big % of the general population but they are common in law both civil and criminal.

[ForeverDad]

About the friends you lost, did you lose them because they believed her or because they didn't want to get in the middle of all the allegations?  There is a difference, perhaps if/when things calm down some of the scared-off friends might cautiously come back.

That other guy she was with for two months after you eventually got dumped, he may also be blacklisted now.  Ended BPD relationships are usually cast as abusive ones.  Just a guess, but if you were maligned more than him it might be because you had more time with her and got emotionally closer than he did.  BPD is an emotional dysregulation disorder that becomes more evident the closer the relationship.

How did that restraining order get resolved in court?  What did "I didn't go against it" mean?  Did you plead No Contest?  Are the restrictions ended now?  Did it rise to the level of misdemeanor or felony complaint?  If you made a plea deal, then likely there is a measure of guilt that was admitted.  If you said you were innocent and yet the court ruled against you, you still have a right to state you were innocent.  Many states have laws allowing expungement (wiping out the judgement) after a year or more of no subsequent infractions of the law.  Consult with a criminal defense lawyer on whether expungement is applicable to your court record and is a realistic option for you to, so to speak, clear your name and legal history.

Many courts don't seem to care what the mental state is of the complainant, mine sure didn't.  Though if you can prove this is a litigious person, one with a history of making multiple allegations, then that might reduce her credibility.  I guess it's up to the accused to try to get the court to order a Psych Eval on the accuser.  Might be hard, though one approach can be to agree for both parties to submit to Psych Evals.