Left BPD gf Struggling :(

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

Hi All

This is my first time posting but i have been reading lots of posts that has helped immensely

Its been 6 weeks since I broke up with my BPD gf of 3 years and Im really struggling.
My story is very similar to lots of the ones posted on here.

I had known her for quite a few years before getting together, she was always at the same social events, same friends etc and always had a soft spot for her.
Anyway our relationship and connection at the beginning was out of this world and I feel she is my soulmate it was everything i had ever wanted and more.
She became physically and emotionally abusive.
We split up and got back together a few times (longest break 1 week)
After an attack on me she was diagnosed with BPD and committed to therapy
I decided to stay in the hope she would get better and the relationship would be amazing again.
There was no physical abuse from that point on, but all the other drama, crazy and self destructive behaviour continued
I have been in therapy since the attack on me

It got to the point where i had to walk away, most difficult decision ever :'(

She says she is still totally in love with me (I'd like to believe this but don't know, thoughts please) I am still totally in love with her but can't be with her while she is still in very early stages of recovery, just too much conflict and drama.
I miss her so bad and long to be with her and don't know how to get over this. My head says its the best thing but my heart says different.

She says she hopes I can still be in her life somehow if I can't be with her romantically and we can stay at least friends and part of me still wants her in my life but not sure what best thing to do is. Since breaking up we have had 2 short phone calls, but no other contact.

Is it possible to have a successful, healthy relationship with someone with BPD?
Is it possible to be friends if being together isn't possible?
Has anyone been in the same position and got back and made it work?
Is the best thing to do disappear and go NC?

I really do care and love this girl and would love for her to recover and if I can help in someway I would like to do that, just don't know what to do

I guess I'm hoping she will recover and we could get back together but i don't know if I'm completely deluded. Really not sure what to do any advise... .

[SeekeroftheTruth]

Hi All

This is my first time posting but i have been reading lots of posts that has helped immensely

Its been 6 weeks since I broke up with my BPD gf of 3 years and Im really struggling.
My story is very similar to lots of the ones posted on here.

I had known her for quite a few years before getting together, she was always at the same social events, same friends etc and always had a soft spot for her.
Anyway our relationship and connection at the beginning was out of this world and I feel she is my soulmate it was everything i had ever wanted and more.
She became physically and emotionally abusive.
We split up and got back together a few times (longest break 1 week)
After an attack on me she was diagnosed with BPD and committed to therapy
I decided to stay in the hope she would get better and the relationship would be amazing again.
There was no physical abuse from that point on, but all the other drama, crazy and self destructive behaviour continued
I have been in therapy since the attack on me

It got to the point where i had to walk away, most difficult decision ever :'(

She says she is still totally in love with me (I'd like to believe this but don't know, thoughts please) I am still totally in love with her but can't be with her while she is still in very early stages of recovery, just too much conflict and drama.
I miss her so bad and long to be with her and don't know how to get over this. My head says its the best thing but my heart says different.

She says she hopes I can still be in her life somehow if I can't be with her romantically and we can stay at least friends and part of me still wants her in my life but not sure what best thing to do is. Since breaking up we have had 2 short phone calls, but no other contact.

Is it possible to have a successful, healthy relationship with someone with BPD?
Is it possible to be friends if being together isn't possible?
Has anyone been in the same position and got back and made it work?
Is the best thing to do disappear and go NC?

I really do care and love this girl and would love for her to recover and if I can help in someway I would like to do that, just don't know what to do

I guess I'm hoping she will recover and we could get back together but i don't know if I'm completely deluded. Really not sure what to do any advise... .