In need of advice

[Classy]

Hi there,
I'm in romantic relationship which I want to leave but first I want to regroup myself and prepare myself for leaving him.
I would like some coping techniques until I can leave.
I want to put as much energy as possible in healing myself and creating a safe haven for me and my children.
I am recently regaining my empowerment and recently confirmed my spouse has BPD. I always thought it was me.
This is my first post. So, if there is more that I should be writing about, please let me know.
Thank you for being there.
Classy

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Roma]

Hi Classy,
Welcome.
I'm relatively new myself, or at least I joined a few months ago, but haven't been back much lately. I found my first contact with this site really helpful - just reading the posts, looking at the videos and lessons.

My relationship has been grinding me down lately and I feel in a similar place to what you describe. I have a counsellor now, thankfully (and free, yay, via our local Carers' Centre) and this week finally could admit that although on balance I probably want to leave, at the moment I feel in an indecisive place and I need to build myself up quite a lot so I can have the strength either to leave and *make it stick*, or begin to be effective in working with the techniques suggested here. If this can result in the relationship improving and beginning to meet at least some of my needs then the decision to leave can maybe be shelved. I would, I think, much rather have the relationship improve, but I know that my energy is limited.

You've prompted me to get back to writing on this board, so thanks for that and here's to supportive exchanges.   

[Coconut2017]

It looks like you made up your mind to leave but you have not mentioned why exactly do you want to wait.
Depending on your goals, your coping methods might be different.

[Tattered Heart]

Hi Classy,

Welcome ,

I'm sorry that you are feeling so much frustration in your relationship. How long have you been together?

Can you tell us a little more about what has been going on in your relationship?

Many people on this site have started to see hope in their relationship after they learn some of our tools and implement practicing them. We have a lot of workshops on the right side of the page. To get you started, here is one of our workshops on Being More Epathetic to Our Person With BPD. Keep posting.